My ex-husband and I have an amicable relationship for the most part at present. We have accepted our different outlooks in life and agree to create as healthy of a co-parenting foundation as possible. During his weekends with the kids, I often times show up to my son’s extracurricular activities to support my son and remind him that while we are separate we can come together to support his interests. And vice versa. We, my ex and I converse about the kids well being and their schedules, share a cab, family lunch and today we share a trip to the Knicks basketball game to support the Boy Scouts family day.
Many girl and guy friends alike are surprised on how we can continue to co-exist and maintain a friendship. I tell them my number one priority is my kids happiness and well-being. I manage my relationship with my ex to ensure my kids do not suffer any lack of love, attention and support because of any type of feeling I have towards him and our marriage.
Despite whatever differences we have…. I still consider him a friend….Afterall he has known me throughout some of my greatest life achievements and lows. We both have learned to forgive and agree to disagree.
Is our time with the kids always pleasant? Of course not…. While we do put our feelings towards each other aside….like any marriage and co-parenting relationship our discontent for each other views sometimes resurface.
I often ask myself will this co-parenting arrangement continue when each of us have moved on and decide to share our lives with someone else. Will the person in my life be comfortable with my co-parenting relationship with my kid’s father and vice versa? I would like to think that any man I choose to share my life with will understand that my kids happiness and well-being are paramount. While certain adjustments would need to be made to accommodate my current partner’s needs as well, that man would be comfortable in attending school graduations, soccer games and dance recitals knowing that my kids father will be there as well. They would want to be supportive of my love for my kids and understand that it is not about his ego but the benefit of the support of family and friends that my kids desire and need. I also hope my kids father’s ego and my ego as well could also adjust if either of us choose to extend our family to someone we deem as a vital part of our lives.
While my divorce is freshly minted taking opportunity to maintain stability and family cohesiveness in my children’s life is of utmost importance. It will continue to be…. And I hope that my co-parenting relationship with my kids father will continue on this healthy path.