Co-Parenting Dating Conflict #2

Ok this really precedes the dating conflict #1 I posted about a week in a half ago….but will call it #2 anyway. I was sharing the story with my girlfriend recently, and thought I share.

So on a summer Friday, I was away with my daughter with her daycare on a fieldtrip to Sesame Place in Langhorne, PA. I receive a text from a “potential” about my plans that evening.  He was back in the NYC area from his weekly travel venture and was en route to another destination…but missed his flight. So by deciding to take the first flight in the morning, he had his evening to spare. Wow what a coincidence! This also happened to be my weekend without the kids…and I had no plans for the evening scheduled. I was due to arrive back in the area around 6ish. So I said let’s confirm when I arrive to Jersey City…and I know better when my kids father will pick up the kids.

I confirmed timing with their father….he would meet me at daycare with my son to pick up my daughter and drop me off home. Cool! So I let the “potential” know that I should be free around 7ish and asked if he would like to come to Jersey City or I could meet him in his borough.

My kids father is fully aware that this is my weekend off. As he picks my daughter and I up, he suggests we should grab something to eat before he drops me off home. I say I am not hungry and I have evening plans. But if kids are hungry, we can stop and grab something to go. We arrive to the local spot…time is approaching 6:30pm. We ordered the food….there is a bit of a wait…kids become antsy. So I cave in and say let’s eat inside and since we are here I grab something too.

Meanwhile, the “potential” is expecting to hear back from me with a confirmed time. He mentions that he is ok with meeting me in Jersey City. Sounds like a plan!

Following dinner…we, the kids, their father and I head back to my place. I think it is going to be a clean drop-off and the kids and him will head over to their place. Yeah right! Now mind you, I forgot to pack the kids suitcase the night before….but I mentioned to their father where everything was. He was supposed to retrieve the kids and pack all of their things when he relieved the sitter earlier before picking me up. The sitter was expecting him and everything was good to go. Well, he decides that he needed to put a few “things” in the wash earlier and now they needed to dry. Delaying my free evening….further. And I still needed to freshen up. I could not go out anywhere..with sticky clothes and chlorine-filled hair. Now the time is approaching 7:30pm.

I am on a texting tangent…trying to rearrange plans. Instead of him coming to Jersey City and meeting at a local spot, I decide that I will come out to Brooklyn. Plus in my opinion, Brooklyn has cooler spots than Jersey City anyway. Additionally, at this point who knows when my ex will leave my house with the kids. And I really don’t want to cause any unnecessary conflicts.

I manage to have a brief conversation with the “potential” and he is understanding of my situation. Thank goodness! Let me tell you it was awkward trying to explain to someone you are getting to know…that your ex-husband is in your house washing clothes…and you don’t want him to pick you up at your place because he just might walk out with the kids in tow. Awkward!

I ended up leaving the house before my kids and their father left. While walking out my ex is commenting on how tidy my place looks. Good grief! Hello! I do clean during the week…and just so happen the sitter was actually helpful this week in keeping it tidy. Plus, I have plans for my girlfriends to come over on Saturday to enjoy laying out with me by the pool. I am zoning his comments out of my head. I am not in his business of what he does with his free time which is much more than my every other weekend. So I am thinking, ok and also saying “Stop being nosy!”.

So I went on my date, had a good time and then went home. As I open up my door to my place later that evening, I see a pair of my kid’s father dress shoes on top of his gym bag right in the hallway near the door. Everyone is gone of course. But seriously!?! He just so happen to leave that and not anything else and right by the front door of my place? C’mon! Not that I was planning on having a night cap at my place anyway. But, if that is not “blocking” translation prohibiting me to move forward in my dating life, what do you call it?

When confronting him the next day when calling to check up on the kids….of course he acted dumbfounded. He laughed and said he didn’t realize he left those things…just blamed it on transferring his gym stuff and all my kids clothes in one suitcase and just so happened to forget his dress shoes.  Ok…um yeah! Gotcha! Go figure!

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One thought on “Co-Parenting Dating Conflict #2”

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