“It was heartbreaking . . . I think it was disappointing because I had such an identity in being ‘Mrs. Parker’, and being a wife, and so when that’s taken away from you, you [think], ‘Who am I?”
“It wasn’t about who he chose. I mean, I had moments of, ‘Am I not sexy enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?’ In so many of those questions, I immediately stopped and go, ‘No, don’t start doing that.’ Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry it on to other things.”
“So many people want me to hate him and destroy him, but I don’t want to. I want him to be happy. He’s not a bad person.”
“I do believe in forgiving and forgetting. There was a reason we were together. I just want to hold on to the good times.”
“I do not regret getting married nor do I regret getting divorced.”
- On Infidelity– If you have been a victim of infidelity whether married, in a committed relationship or just dating and realize that you are not the number one priority in who that person chooses to spend time with, there is pain. We begin to self-doubt ourselves. We questions all of the wonderful attributes that make us the beautiful creatures we are. We ask ourselves: Why we are not great enough for that person to love only me? Instead of asking that about yourself, you should ask what insecurity or selfishness your mate has going on internally, to not make you the only priority lady or gent in his or her life.
- On Separating from the Marriage Union– The partnership with your husband or wife becomes part of your identity. When passing friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances: Instead of asked: “How you are doing?” The question on your welfare becomes: “How are you and your husband? How is the family?” or if it is a “How are You?” the next question is “How is your husband?” You become a pair that attends work events, barbecues, parties, couple date night dinners and family affairs together. When one is absent when attending these events, the first question asked is where is your other half. When that union is gone….you have to re-invent yourself. You have to discover who you were before marriage. You have to re-position yourself with family and peers so they are accepting of your new being as now the fiery, independent lady or gent you are sans your ex-spouse.
- On Getting Married and Divorced– Like Eva says, I do not regret my marriage one bit nor my divorce. My husband and I had memorable times, we created two lovely sprouts and my marriage allowed me to grow into the woman and mother I am at present. Yes, divorce is not easy, and sometimes you want to go back to what you are comfortable with knowing. A two family household, someone to wake up to in the morning, a plus 1 to social events, a second opinion on all important decisions and so on and so on. You mourn the familiar, doubt your decision, stumble along the transition, and then you begin to hone your independence. You eventually forgive yourself and your partner on the demise of the marriage union. You become satisfied with your decision to move on. I can say that I am proud of my strength and desire to pursue what I want in life. I am content with our resolution to end all eternal conflicting interests on the directions we want for our lives. Let life press on and I wish him and myself the best.
Source: Hispanic Lifestyle flickr.com/photos/38606294@N05/7998000427