Selita Ebanks, actress and ex- Victoria’s Secret Model got up close and personal with Power 105.1‘s The Breakfast Club. The actress/model discussed her past publicized relationships. She commented on her engagement with Nick Cannon and her most recent break-up with actor and E! News host Terrence Jenkins. She discusses how career directions was a big factor in her split with Terrence along with other reasons. She stated the following “Everything has it’s time and it’s course. He had to move on. He went to LA, he’s doing bigger and better things E! News …….I had to focus more on my acting. We just decided to do our own thing”
While listening to the Breakfast Club while dropping my daughter off to school….I could not help to say Hmmmm! Now I get career aspirations are important. I have moved and traveled for career opportunities throughout my professional life. Now have I ever left or ended a relationship just because my career moved me to another state? No way! If a relationship did end, it was never because of my career direction was not in sync with my mate. Maybe there is more…but I cannot agree to leaving a relationship because of career alon. She did say there were other things.
During my marriage with my ex-husband we reached a cross-roads in our careers. I was in my final year of completing my Master of Business of Administration studies in Finance and was offered a great career opportunity on Wall St. that following Summer. He was not yet finished with his graduate studies and would finish the following year. While the decision to take the job was tough, we agreed that our family could survive the temporary separation. I moved to near New York City to take the job and he stayed at our home in Washington D.C. with our son. Despite our differences, there is never enough Kudos I could give to him for holding it down as a single father for that year while I was getting acclimated to my new job.
I would leave every Friday afternoon and would be in D.C. by six p.m. to spend the weekend with my family. I would then return and head straight to work from Washington D.C. on an early train that Monday morning. Now mind you, all of our peers and family thought we were crazy. To everyone this was unheard of. But he knew how important this career opportunity was for me….and how equally important it was for him to complete his studies in D.C. While challenging, the time apart allowed us to appreciate each other on the weekends but allow us to grow into our own being apart. There was uncertainty in the challenging economy of him landing a job in New York City, not even a year employed at my job we were expecting baby number two….so there was chaos in our marriage. However, we didn’t let our career aspirations break up our marriage. In fact, this was not a factor at all to the end of our marriage.
I also met my ex-husband at a training in Chicago, and we both lived in two states then. We adjusted once serious about building something together. I transferred from the New York City office to the Washington D.C. location. I believe that relationships can continue to thrive despite separate career directions. As long as your mate is understanding of your career goals, there is effective communication and compromise….two people can stay together and make it work.
In my earlier dating life, upon graduating from undergrad, I moved from Virginia to Washington D.C. for my first job out of college. My boyfriend at the time stayed in Virginia. We would take turns in traveling back and forth to see each other. He eventually moved to New Jersey, while I resided in D.C. Fortunately career opportunities also brought me to the New York and New Jersey area. The distance and career directions were not an issue. He eventually moved to Texas. I will say the relationship did not last much further after that. It was not because of his career change and location, but more of him not willing to take that next step in our relationship for me to hold him down and support his aspirations.
Being a California native, I have had cross-country relationships. While challenging, the state of technology and research on travel deals can keep a long-distance relationship thriving.
I believe you can achieve your career aspirations and keep your “Boo” in your life. There will have to be understanding and compromise from both parties though.
What Are Your Thoughts? Have You Left A Relationship To Pursue A Career Opportunity?