I came across a recent Huffington Post article discussing common post-split New Year’s resolutions that readers’ shared. While reading the listed 18 resolution goals, I could not help but to nod in agreement with many of these aspiring objectives. Many of the resolutions were similar to my own for 2013. I was also relieved that some of the listed goals in the article, I successfully conquered in 2013 or was never an issue. I gave myself a pat on the back and realized that I have come a long way in my journey to becoming a happily divorcee. Below is a list of my New Year’s resolutions.
1) I will not limit my identity as a “divorcee” as there is so much more to me than someone else’s ex-wife. Prior to marriage, I was fabulous, goal-driven, quirky, funny and independent me. Following marriage, I held the title of wife and then mother. Which I am still proud of. But now the wife title is gone, I am still an awesome mother, friend, successful career women, and the same fabulous, goal-driven, quirky, funny and independent me…but now just much more wiser. So, divorce is just one of many experiences in my life journey and it does not stop there.
2) Dating is imminent…Get used to the idea that my ex-husband may get serious with one of his many prospects…and yes my kids may eventually have a step-mother. While I am okay for the reverse-roles of a possible step father and comfortable with my dating choices, I have to also trust his judgment. I also have to be considerate and help my ex-husband to be comfortable that it is a possibility that eventually one day there will be another man in my children’s lives….an additive to the family and cannot replace the awesome father he is.
3) Continue to improve my co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband and more cognizant of our interactions with each other in front of our children. Instead of approaching some conversations with frustration, make a concerted effort to be positive-minded. While, we are currently aware of our actions, children pick up on everything, and yes neither of us are perfect. This is a constant work of improvement.
4) Not care about how I am perceived by others and not feeling that I have to justify to everyone why the divorce happened. Sh– happens! Get over it! I did!
5) Continue to be comfortable in my own “Single-status” skin. Press forward with growing my love of thy self and less dependent on seeking love from others.
6) Put larger faith in my sprouts father parenting skills. This is probably one of the toughest. Co-parenting does not require me to double and triple-check on how my ex-husband is tending to his parenting obligations. I should not have to be neurotic in ensuring my sprouts are adequately prepared and prompt to all of their appointments and activities. I do understand that as a mother and the main custodial parent, I do have some obligation to communicate sprouts schedules. When the kids are with their father….I need to just relax a bit and enjoy my “me” time. I also need to put my foot down and ensure their father steps up in keeping up with our kids schedules as well, and become less reliant on me.
7) Be open to love, despite some dating fumbles experienced in 2013 and accept that there will be more in 2014. Disallow unsuccessful dating situations evoke a bitter spirit and deter my optimism to press-on with new dating experiences
For the list of Post-Split New Year’s Resolutions shared by readers in the Huffington Post, visit: