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When someone makes a crucial mistake of stepping out on his or her mate, should he or she come forward about their indiscretions?
The cheater acknowledges the sexual innuendo as a mistake. But he or she does not want the relationship to end. There may be a few issues in their relationship but nothing qualifying as a deal breaker or equates to his or her cheating ways. Should he or she come forward and be honest?
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TEAM Come Forward:
Some feel you should own up to your mistakes. Yes, there is a risk of losing your “Boo”. The cheater already knows this risk before getting caught up in a hot and steamy intimate encounter. If there is a deep bond, nothing should be held from each other. Forgiveness is a possibility. Hmmm… that depends on the circumstance. A one-time occurrence while away on travel with your friends to Bangkok, Thailand may be pardoned. If there is no possibility of reconnecting with your sexual conquest. Now this depends on your mates morals and values.Whereas a love affair may not be exonerated. Feelings and an emotional connection are developed in an affair. That is a tougher pill to swallow for some. However, an affair may be excused as opposed to a careless act of indiscretion. There are many factors that lead to infidelity, such as communication barriers. Underlying issues in a relationship could cause someone to reach for comfort elsewhere.
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TEAM What He or She Does Not Know Won’t Hurt Him or Her:
There is also the notion of punish yourself over your disloyalty, but refrain from telling your mate. It is selfish to put your “Boo” through such pain. Sulk in bed, beat yourself up, restrict pleasures from your life, but the last thing to do is share your indiscretions with your partner. Especially, if it was just a careless act and there is no threat to your union. Continue on your relationship path and leave the past behind.
My Thoughts- A Slippery Slope:
It is a slipper slope from both angles. It depends on the situation. I believe in honesty in a relationship and think two people should be able to share almost everything with each other. But some discussions should be left alone. You know yourself and your love for your partner. No relationship is perfect, no mate is perfect. Infidelity and acts leading to the indiscretion are wrong. Many of us view infidelity as two people engaging in sexual intercourse. I think your just as guilty when testing the waters seeking out an abnormal amount of comfort from someone of the opposite sex that is a non-relative in lieu of going to your mate. Now, this could be because your mate has not made themselves available or insensitive to your needs. However, there is a risk of further seeking intimacy. If you love your partner and a mistake was made (one-time occurrence) and your tryst is not trying to threaten your union, you may get a free pass. Punish yourself and save your mate from the heartache. Try to fix the underlying issue that caused you to go astray in the first place. If the issue cannot be resolved, you may need to move on. The possibility of doing a repeat offense is imminent.
If this was just a careless reason of turning in your “Free Pass” card, but you are otherwise happy, I have to take pause. This person may not be relationship material and should be honest with him or herself. If he or she wants to keep their mate and have their cake too, discuss the possibility of an open relationship. This is the commencement of a habit.
I also think you should come forward when the “other person” makes threats of disrupting your union. Be honest and take the necessary precautions to protect your main ‘Boo’.
Overall, I swing to Team Honesty, many relationships get through infidelity. Some don’t, and you should learn from your mistakes and move on. But sometimes, a true one-time mistake may be better swept under the rug to save your mate from bearing the hurt. Your inner guilt will provide ample punishment.
Would You Be Honest With Your Mate About Being Unfaithful? Or Just Repent In Silence?