Have you ever been caught up in a relationship, where you share intimate moments with someone, but are unclear of your defined roles with each other? Or emotions are so volatile, that you argue more than anything else. Sex is the only pseudo-healthy productive act stemming from the two of you. If so, you were caught up in a SITUATIONSHIP!
There are various of types of situationships. What makes a relationship into a situationship, is the foundation the connection is built upon. If trust, honor, and respect are not the pillars holding the base of your relationship, it is definitely a situationship. Here are a few common types:
The Faithful Booty Call:
In this situationship there is passion, sex is at an all time-high, but that is about it. The called upon person is always available and ready to tend to your needs and possibly share in breakfast or mid-night snack. There is never any effort or planning, accommodating is lack luster. The hook up engagements are at last-minute. No one really knows about this relationship except the two of you and maybe one or two of your closest friends, if you dare to share. You two share in conversation, discuss relationship views but it never leads to anything else except while exiting, “I will keep in touch”. Yeah, that will happen the next time your hook-up gets that hornbug twitch. Over time, feelings develop from the faithful booty call, but typically it is not mutually returned. So the booty call receiver has locked up all of his or her emotions in fear of scaring the other person off and ceasing the sexual connection.
The Undefined- Booty Call/Trophy Piece/Great Company on Someone’s Own Terms
This is a case of someone is not ready to be exclusive and move towards a serious relationship in the near term with anyone. The connection does not only weigh in on sex, but need for temporary companionship. At times this person needs a plus one to social events, and usually extends a call to you. When out, you are introduced as a “Great Friend” or just “Friend”. Nothing more. While great in the beginning, if both parties are not comfortable with this, one becomes frustrated. The need for more results in tension. Not to worry, the person who has everything on his or her terms have at least two or three plus ones on rotation. While you will be missed, it won’t be that hard on him or her. The one who has no control that has yet build the strength to leave this unhealthy situation, tolerates this, which makes it easy for their situationship to remain opaque. But while tolerated, the emotional rollercoaster re-surfaces, and the two of you are not raising voices, but ignoring each other. Afterall, the person who is comfortable living a non-exclusive life does not want to be bothered with all of that drama.
The Non-Declarer But More Than Friends With Benefits
In this situationship, two people clearly love and care for each other. Most of your free-time is shared together. You are the companion, lover and plus one at almost all events. However, the bond between the two of you is not enough for your mate to declare and pronounce their love and exclusivity to you with everyone else. While engaging conversations happens between sheets, this is overshadowed by lack of trust and dishonesty when the two are separate from one another. Arguments arise because while the love for each other is shared among each other, why can’t the world know? Doubts of unfaithfulness usually is factored in the disputes. Why can’t our relationship progress to anything more?..is the resounding question. However, explosive discontent is always mollified by a steamy sexual interlude.
Don’t Look Behind Closed Doors
A situationship could also be a product of an unhealthy relationship masked to others as a perfect scenario. Everyone thinks you are the perfect couple or family. All of your dirty laundry is maintained under the bed. Both of you know you are not right for each other, but yet remain bounded. Maybe the reason is fear of being lonely, children, or financial dependence. Behind closed doors is war of the roses. You both frequently share your distaste and mistrust for each other and express harsh wishes on each other’s health. Voices are raised from concerns of cheating, lying and disrespect and/or just not giving a freak about what they do or their well-being. It is BattleShip at your address, all wounds are patched up once you step foot out the door.
If you see yourself caught up in one of these scenarios, and you want more, build your strength up and remove unnecessary situationships from your life. You deserve and are worthy of more. Everyone deserves to be loved, cherished and respected. Love is not sometimey and conditional!
Share Some of Your Situationship Experiences? How Did You Get Out of It? Did That Situationship Ever Work Out and Evolve into a Thriving Relationship?