The dating scene has revolutionized since my pre-married days. Texting was in the primary stage in the mid -2000s. It had not yet replaced the traditional phone conversation. Nowadays re-entering the dating scene now divorced, texting is the fore-front of all dating connection.Text-messaging is the main form of communication with family, friends, flirting with the opposite sex and courting a prospective lifelong partner.
Unlike a verbal conversation, text messages are silent to inflections of statements. All messages sent are monotone. To make a point you must add an emoticon, create the word in all caps or end a sentence with one or multiple exclamation marks. Thus, the encoding and decoding of communication between two people may go astray from its true intent.
In this text-dating age, therer is a high probability that the future success of your relationship with a person of interest will be determined by your text game. How quick and responsive are you in answering text messages? How descriptive are your messages? So basically, if you are not the best communicator over written words, your future in pursuing a meaningful relationship are pretty slim. The thrive of your connection with each other is judged from the last text message response.
Who Is The Most At Risk?
Now while texting began as an adolescent and young college students phenom,which sensationalized the whole texting and social media craze, that generation is the least peril. Why? Because while they are texting each other during the day, they also have the most expendable time throughout the day to converse face-to-face with their romantic interests.
The seasoned professional working males and females are at the greatest risk of not succeeding in love because of their poor text game. Why? They have less disposable time to allocate to dating. They have their careers to tend to which for many extend beyond the nine-to-five traditional hours. These great catches also have commitments to social organizations, an active social life with friends and family responsibilities. If lucky, they have a few hours in a given week to spend face-to-face time with a dating prospect. Thus, the communication shared between the two of them while not together becomes a large factor in shaping the future viability of a relationship.
Texting Is Convenient!
As a single mother living in the New York City area who juggles a career, a blog and children’s activities while transporting primarily by way of subway, trains and by foot, it is easier to send a text than engage in a phone conversation. My life is fluid and there is always surrounding noise. I have become great with communicating my thoughts via text. However, I realize not everyone is nor do they always have their phones sitting beside them at all times. As a result, I have seen unnecessary misunderstandings, disagreements and let budding relationships naturally expire because of the person’s whack text game.
Steps to Boost Your Dating Text Game!
- Attempt To Respond To All Texts The Same Day Even If It Is Not The Answer The Receiver Wants To Hear: Now this should be easy. I understand there are instances where you left your phone at work or it ran out of juice because you forgot the charger. But it is hard to believe that a person did not check their phone for missed calls in a given day. If you don’t have time to address the text message properly, a quick text stating “You got it and will respond when you have a free moment” goes a loooong way. This eliminates any ambiguities of a person blatantly ignoring someone. Even if you do not have interest in a person, just have common courteous to keep the person out of suspense.
- Be Candid On How You Feel About Communicating Via Text Upfront: If texting is not your thing, state that upfront. If it is a challenge to communicate your thoughts through written words let the person know. However, if you are truly interested in this person, make an effort to communicate more frequently through other outlets: telephone conversation and more in-person dates.
- Not Everything Can Be Conveyed In One-to Three Generic Words: We are Talking About a Prospective Love Interest Not Your Homie: Vague responses such as: Cool! Word! and Nice! and abbreviated words are okay some of the time. But it is impersonal. It does not convey to the sender that they are special to you. Yes it is okay while in-transit exchanging directions, but it is not likely to be received well when the other sender just sent a text with at least a sentence.
- Avoid Using the Word “Babe” “Boo” and “Hun” for at least the first few weeks: While everyone eventually likes to have their own pet name, we do not want to share a common name you use for every prospective love interest. It raises a red flag to the prospect that you are just a player.
- It Is Going To Be A Busy Week!- Let The Person Know Upfront: This is by far the biggest miscommunication and fall-out between two potentials. If known upfront a normal person will not expect to receive a text from you everyday and while they may send you one, won’t expect a reply until you are through with your busy week. Some people need space and time to focus without outside communication distractions.
- Don’t Let Pride Get In The Way From Sending a Follow-Up Text When There Is No Response To The First Text: An unresponsive text signals someone is ignoring you. However, many times a person may read a text, become caught up with something else and just forgot to respond. Relax, if there is nothing that would prompt you to believe your prospect would just ignore you and move on, go ahead and check up on the person. What do you have to lose? If you want, wait a few days before checking up. Many times your prospective mate is juggling many tasks at once, and responding immediately to a “Hey What Are You Doing?” text may fall on the back burner from time to time. Send a follow-up text, many times the person just got caught up in all of their life demands, that they forgot to send a text back. The battle of who texted last almost always results in the budding relationship not reaching its full potential.
- If Someone Sent You A Soliloquy As A Text, When You Have Time, Put Forth The Same Effort or Just Pick Up The Phone: This one falls in line with the earlier point. Taking the time to respond to a text, in which the other person put much thought into sending, signals that you care about that person and his or her feelings.
- Take Drunk-Texting As It Is “Drunk Texting”: Do not become scared, unless you think the person has a drinking problem. Many times, when intoxicated, a person likes to reach out to the person on their mind. May want to share feelings that would not be shared in an otherwise sober state. Take it as a complement that you are in that persons thoughts. More times than not there is truth behind those drunk texts. However, don’t judge the person on their uncouth way of explaining their feelings. Suck it up as the person is just “being silly or out there at the moment” The sensible person will resume within 24 hours.
How Would You Rate Your Dating Text Game? Do You Have The Fundamentals To Foster A Budding Relationship?