The Dating Funnel: Mingle, Mingle Equals Dates, and More Dates Then Exclusivity!

I have entered the world of online dating and amped up my social gathering appointments recently, following a brief winter break. I will say it is true getting out there in the New York metropolitan social scene results in a higher return of meeting new prospects. Not just attending social gatherings but mingling and taking the initiative to introduce yourself to others. My past weekend without the kids I executed my plan of going out three consecutive days to restaurants, lounges and day brunch soirees. First to enjoy the warmer climate, spend much needed time with friends after a long winter drag. But secondly, to be open in meeting new gents. I will say my second intention was well received.


Combining my recent decision to pursue online dating, existing prospects that are active or passive in their pursuits and new ones, I will say my dating life has picked up. It is difficult to add that pass-time to my already hectic work and family schedule. While still in the infancy stage, it is great to meet people and discover compatibility potential. I have recently expressed I am over the dating scene, it is tiring. I have been unlucky in past dating ventures in transitioning the courting situationship into a more meaningful and stable relationship. I am somewhat optimistic with this new crop of gents. I am also much wiser about my choices in dating. I realize timing is important. I am also re-evaluating and discovering my needs. Sometimes I say I want one thing, but realize what I requested is not what I wanted at all. So I am deciding to take things slow and not become mesmerized too quickly.  So far it seems that some of my expressed desires and commonalities are in sync with the gents I have met. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone I have dated since divorced which past two dates have been wonderful gents, some relationships have morphed into great lasting friendships and/or acquaintances. I can also say I have developed an arsenal of  “In Case Of Emergency Break Glass” prospects when and if my dating life becomes dry.


I see the dating life as a huge funnel. You cannot put all your eggs in one basket from initial meeting through dating. Especially in the New York City metro area. Like A Sales Funnel: you start with your Suspects, which result inProspects, then to Leads that eventually result into that one loyal Customer. You have to meet and gradually weed out the ones who are not best for you. (Stats below are based on a population of 100):



  • You go out and meet.- Mingle, Mingle, Mingle
  • Numbers are exchanged (Top of the funnel).


  • Actual  seek out and follow-up between the two people– (about 50% from initial meet and greet). This is the point you are questioning your intent of why you gave your number out in the first place and his intent by the call/text exchange and whether you should respond with futhur intentions or just nip it in the bud.
  • Exchanged dialogue beyond a week (25% from initial meet and greet). This could be because of timing, what is currently on your plate or realization that interest is not mutually there to put forth the effort.
  • An in-person date/ encounter (maybe 10-15% of initial meet and greet). There is optimism and genuine interest in getting to know that person.


  • Second and third date (5-10% of initial meet and greet). For some it could be a smaller percentage. For me, giving that I cherish my allocated time, I believe I filtered enough through the exchanges that there is a high probability for a second date but also realize I don’t put all my eggs in one basket.
  • Fourth date through courting (the bottom of the funnel- The final 3%) Compatibility and genuine like has been determined and I am interested in seeing where this goes. This is the tricky part…because sometimes many of us get stuck here. (Refer to Situationships blog)


  • Exclusivity (The last 1% of the initial meet and greet) There are mutual plans to work at and build a relationship exclusively. Congrats You Have Found Your Loyal Customer!

What Have Your Dating Experiences Been Like? Do You Agree About Not Putting All Of Your Eggs In One Basket? Share Your Stories Of Securing Your Loyal Customer!

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2 thoughts on “The Dating Funnel: Mingle, Mingle Equals Dates, and More Dates Then Exclusivity!”

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