Social media, while innocent it may be sharing your life experiences and viewpoints to the world, is never private. This is despite measures you take in enabling privacy settings against outside public eyes. In most cases it is your friends that are your foe. Your upbeat posts hanging with friends, family and indulging while on vacation can all be used against you. Especially, when you are in the weeds of a divorce or there isn’t frequent open communication within your relationship.
Likes, Comments, Shares and Tags…. The Devil Is In The Details!
Comments, likes, shares and tags all can be misconstrued in different ways. Liking someone’s picture because it is just a great picture could be your true intention. However, too many likes on the same person’s page could suggest to your spouse/ significant other that there is more than meets the eye. Assumptions could be made that there is more than an innocent attraction, or worse an actual affair. Now don’t get me wrong friends within your circle and associates openly discussed are considered non-threats to your relationship. You should be able to like a picture without interrogation. However, behavior pattern changes coupled with increased attention to and by certain people on social media, raises a red flag. Be prepared to be questioned. Those random flirty comments that are posted on pics could infer potential or existing affair, especially when the communication between the two of you have changed. Now, you may ask why would your significant other snoop anyway? Well, suspicion and intuition always brings out the FBI agent. When there is doubt, it overtakes your common sense.
Disregarding intuition, the way social media works, it is easy to see what your friends and significant other activity, including likes, tags, comments and shares. Newsfeeds always shares what your friends and significant other is doing. The best way to avoid a potential argument, before commenting or liking that person’s picture for the 10th time; take a moment and ask yourself will my comment, like or share offend or disrespect my significant other in any way and if he or she did the same would I feel slighted?
For the not-yet divorced individuals: Any activity that is done on social media is evidence of your character. It can be used against you in court. So proceed with interacting on social media with care.
Pictures say a thousand words!
Now while you are randomly clicking away on vacation, sunbathing, clinking champagne flutes while celebrating your best friend’s birthday party, innocently bumping and grinding on the dance floor, jet-skiing in the clear blue waters or sharing pictures of all the great souvenirs you purchased….without thinking too much about it. You are just sharing your great moments in life. Well, Hello! All of these pictures can be used against you. Maybe you and your spouse have differences in opinions in managing finances….well those pictures of spending frivolously does not aid your defense. Nor does your bump and grind while appearing intoxicated provide you with any support on the fidelity front. Before you post pictures to the world, make sure it is nothing that your spouse will be too surprised about when viewing through the news feed. Such as weekend getaways to Las Vegas while your mate thought you were going skiing in Vermont. The worst feeling is hearing news of your spouse/ significant other through social media broadcast or through a friend/acquaintance that happened to see the post before you.
Be Cognizant of What Others Post of You!
Even if you aren’t the one posting, social media can be used against you in a relationship….and it can be upheld in court. Therefore, aim to control what your friends post. Their filter is less opaque. So while you may not post a picture of you flipping the bird with a red solo cup with a young college-ed by your side, your friend may think it is funny and post away. TFor parents, monitor what your children post. In child custody cases, children posting careless acts while under your watch can be used against you as an unfit parent in court.
Now I Have Your Attention! Clean Up Your Social Media!!!
As I write this, I aim to do the same. As I too enjoy sharing pictures of my life adventures. I can’t be a hypocrite!
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