Are You In Love With Your Relationship But Not Your Partner? As published on

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Are you in love with the idea of being in a relationship? Do you cringe at the notion of being single but yet thrive for a more compatible connection? Does the security of being “taken” outweigh your affection towards your mate?


Here are some sure-tell signs that you are more in love with your relationship but not your “Boo”:

“Dependability” is the adjective that comes to mind when you think of your “Boo”.

You can rely on your mate when life throws curve balls. Stability and reliability are important traits to a relationship. However, this alone is not making you get butterflies in your tummy. There are plenty of catches out there that are reliable but also charismatic, have common interests and sex appeal. I would think these are other characteristics that would want to come to your mind when thinking of your Boo.

You relish in knowing that you are “cared” for.

It is great that someone has your genuine interests at heart. In this day and age this is hard to come by, I get it. However, if your happiness is defined by someone from the opposite sex caring for you, this is an issue.

You are more consumed with trying to be loved than learning to love your mate. Before entering into any intimate relationshipyou have to love yourself and be happy with your life. A relationship temporary puts a band-aid on deeply-rooted emotional insecurities. It is imperative that you are a secure and confident person first so you are able to care for your mate as much as the person is caring for you.

Your relationship status is as important as your Ivy League degree. 

Every opportunity given, you mention your relationship status to others. When conversing with friends, you always use “We” at least five times to remind your circle that you are “taken”. You cannot imagine removing the “relationship” crown or tiara from your head. By you being in a relationship, you feel superior to your still single friends. In your mind your relationship status denotes to everyone in the world that you are loved, appreciated and cherished.  You are on the path of attaining part of the American Dream: a life partner.

You become envious when your girlfriend/ guy friend tells you they have found their “Soul Mate”.

You and romantic comedies are at war. You crave for that connection but are also infuriated as you believe “true love” as depicted on the screen is a fallacy to reality. To you a ”Soul Mate” doesn’t really exist or at least it is not the depiction of your current situation.

Physical chemistry is lackluster in the bedroom.

Your mate’s physique does not make you do a double-take. Your Boo doesn’t take your breath away. You view your sexual encounters as a chore instead of an exhilarating experience or it is non-existent.

Stimulating conversation is limited to surface discussions.

You are annoyed with most of your mate’s opinions. You prefer to have limited discussions in passing as oppose to having intimate conversation while enjoying a bottle of wine. You preserve your deep discussions to your closest friends that you feel truly understand you.

You Don’t Miss Your Boo.

This is a huge red flag that you are not that into your mate. Times shared together never cross your mind while away from each other whether it is extended travel or just a regular work day.

Secretly, you think your Boo is not funny.

Sure you laugh at their jokes, but inside you cringe on how corny your mate can be. How can you be truly into your mate if you don’t think his humor and charisma is the bees knees?

Your not concerned of your Boo’s past-times without you.

You are not at all jealous. As long as your relationship is not threatened, everything is good. You are content with your mate going out on the town without you. Hey, that means you have your turn to paint the town red sans your mate. Both of you spend more time separate than together.

If Any Of These Signs Point To Your Feelings Towards Your Boo, You Should Evaluate Your Reason Of Continuing Your Relationship

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