Next month marks a year since my divorce became official. I have definitely grown as a woman. This follows a few dead-end dating ventures, new friends and self-discovery.
I would say last summer my focus was turning potentials in husband #2 contenders, despite if timing was in each of our favor. I guess I was worried of being the “Forever Happily Divorced”. Looking for love, attracts the wrong guys. I have had my whiff of the New York dating scene. I can conclude the metropolitan dating scene is scary and the vetting process of new gents needs to be much longer than I initially thought.
Well a year-later I am still single. I meet gents all the time. But it seems that this day and age everyone is all about enjoying their “single” status. So my new mantra is to embrace my “single” status.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am still in search for a great gent…but not as obvious and with a better comprehension that one gent is not the “end all and be all”. If one gent doesn’t appreciate all of my goodness that I have to offer….there is someone else out there that will. I am more attuned of my self-worth. Not that I doubted my attributes before, but a few failed dating ventures does take a jab at your self-esteem.
I have put away the old methods and sources. When you keep meeting the same guy, “emotionally unavailable, obsessed with themselves and their success, puts forth little effort in courting you, but expresses their desire for family and etc.”…it is time to implant yourself in different venues and crowds.
Which brings me to online dating. I will say, I was about to end my subscription to eharmony.com. I mean the endless questions back and forth then once you get to the direct mail part of the question series, the conversation all of a sudden ceases. There is so much eager to get to the finish line between both parties until there is exchange of open communication, then the gents do not follow through. Bummer! Waste of time! However, I will say within the last couple of weeks, the momentum has picked up. I have actually gone on a few dates. I won’t say they all have been winners, but will say that there has been follow-through that manifested into a date. So, I decided to not cancel my subscription quite yet.
However, any gent that I have meet now, I am not looking for them to be my Knight In Shining Armor. There isn’t a finish line that I need to rapidly cross. I am taking things slow, putting a break on my feelings and getting to know prospects as friends first. I am not really in search for it, like I was before.
I am now that “happily single” woman who is hesitant and picky of who I choose to occupy my time with. This is my “Summer of Single”. My Independence Season. And so far I am having a blast!