Just One Of Those Days- The 4th of July Weekend Child Custody Battle!

Now I advocate fostering a positive co-parenting relationship. For the most part I get it right. But there are times I become completely frustrated. The battle of managing our parenting with our newly “fabulous” single lives.

Young couple fighting

In the divorce decree, we have decided that we alternate every other summer holiday weekend and New Year’s eve. Or….he has every New Year’s eve to soak in his new “bachelor” status. So this year, I have Memorial Day Weekend and July 4th Weekend away from the kids. Their father has Labor Day and of course New Year’s Eve. I have all of the other holidays every year….just because I am more into the traditional holidays than him. So to ensure my sprouts have memorable childhood moments during Christmas and Thanksgiving..they are with me.

So today for instance, I decide to buy concert tickets for July 3rd evening to celebrate with friends, one who is having their birthday. The concert is to be after work in upper Manhattan near Dyckman. St. I invited my girlfriend that lives a bit away from New York to stay over.  I assume that since he has the kids he will pick them up the night before July 4th as they are going away on a beach trip. Well…I guessed wrong. Their father just assumed he would pick them up sometime on July 4th.  HUH???? And by the way he has plans. Hmmm….I wonder if his plans are similar to mine? That would be awkward.  Afterall it is a popular concert…at New York City’s most popular urban summer venue. My face went blank. Why would he assume that? When I have the kids on Labor Day and on Memorial Day I assume the Monday would be mine too including the night before and that night. I just took the Sprouts on a week long vacation a month ago. This is his planned vacation with them…that he has been talking about for months.

Go Figure! It frustrates me….because as I do have primary custody, so therefore I have to figure out a Plan B and he can come and pick up and drop off as he pleases. This is not the only battle we have. The time he picks up the kids and drops them off on his free weekend, there he assumes that I have no plans again so I can be accommodating. Where he has time to hang out on a Friday night and  pick them up later and drop them off on Sunday so he can catch the 9pm NBA game or final football game out in the city.

Thus I just finished a text battle…and it included expletives and threats. Yes, I am not perfect. Of course he is being obstinate and not budging or trying to mollify.

Like marriage, friendships, co-parenting two people don’t always see eye-to-eye. This is one of those days…that I am sticking my middle finger out to him  through my phone.

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6 thoughts on “Just One Of Those Days- The 4th of July Weekend Child Custody Battle!”

  1. I will never understand fathers who don’t want every possible moment they can get with their kids. It breaks my heart when I can’t see mine, and I damned sure will change my plans to get a chance to have more time with them.

  2. I can somewhat empathize. Mine is supposed to have ours every other weekend and three weeks in the summer, but has somehow made excuses not to have them at all. He moved an hour away to live with his girlfriend in the same town my children are currently visiting their grandparents. Same town and he has not seen them once. My middle finger is permanently stinking up. He would rather spend time with his 23 year old girl friends than 23, 16 & 15 year old sons.

    1. Wow! Sorry to hear. That is my fear that as the kids get older this will be the case. Always intentions are good in the beginning but lives somehow get in the way. That was the same factor with my dad growing up. One reason I stayed in my marriage as long as possible for the children’s sake.

  3. Maybe… without taking sides…. you’re enabling him by having let him choose times to pick up and drop off.. My friend having a similiar issue is now taking him back to court to ensure pickup times and drop off are specified times not just days.. sucks. Im soo sorry for you. My husband told me he never actually thought of leaving me.. Yet, per the emails she wrote it sure sounded like he did. So I asked why were OUR kids okay to go to bed without their dad home? You tuck our daughter in every night and what you weren’t just leaving me you were leaving us! He actually said no, I wouldve come every night to tuck her in! I laughed and said excuse me??? You leave me and then you think what? Im just gonna let you keep a key to MY house? Let me guess Im gonna cook you dinner still so we still eat together and you hang out tuck the kids in and then what!!?? You leave to your whores?? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?? I was just gonna be here in solitude waiting for you to show me attention??

    I dont think they realize we would not be some secluded hag never leaving the house!! Umm, no..

    Im not divorced and we are still together, not sure if its going to last, but hey I tried…

    1. Yeah I have been thinking about setting scheduled times and putting them in the divorce decree. Yeah that is what they assume that they can live their life and you have to work around them.

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