All Or Nothing: I Will Not Be Any Man’s Half-Time, Down-Time, Spare-Time Or Sometimes

Thought I share this article from elitedaily.com. Thought the article conveyed the current state of women’s frustration with dating and was uplifting as a reminder there are plenty of fish at sea. Enjoy!

This is for all the women who’ve ever been second to “GTA,” a pick-up game of basketball, and the strip club on 61st and 10th. It’s for every girl who has ever felt used, cheated or under-appreciated. It’s for every woman who has been put in a slot and taken out only when he was ready to play.

It’s for all the people who have ever felt like they were making a priority out of someone who only saw them as an option.

If he tells you upfront that he can’t commit to you, then it’s on you, right? You shouldn’t have asked for something he couldn’t give. You shouldn’t have assumed that he wanted to give you his full attention. You shouldn’t have been so goddamn needy.

I have a problem with the needy card. Yes, there are definitely women (and men) who truly are needy.

They are the ones who call you 16 times in one day and stalk you outside the local mall. They hold high expectations and even higher call logs. They assume every weekend must be spent together and family trips have invites.

Needy is not a woman who assumes the guy she’s seeing will treat her like an equal. It’s not a woman who thinks that a man should want to spend time with her outside of just sleeping with her.

It’s not a woman who thinks that if she is taking the time to learn about him, he should be as curious. And it’s definitely not one who thinks relationships should be about wanting to spend time together. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Why have a relationship then? Why not just end it right then and there? Why not just let her go?

A relationship is two people who want to be around each other. It’s two people who want to spend time with each other rather than everyone else.

They are equals, partners and friends. Why would a woman want a man who refuses to see her the way she sees him? Why would a woman want a man who only sees her as another option?

Women are running into an epidemic; it’s called the “fear of commitment.” It’s found mainly in populated metropolises, and ranges from artistic lofts to investment floors; it’s widespread and leaves women feeling like they will always just be (pardon me) another hole.

That’s right, I said it. Just another hole. We’re replaceable, changeable and disposable. We can be found at any local supermarket, strip club or bar. We can be passed along, traded and scored. We can be wined and dined and left after dessert.

It’s time we stopped letting ourselves be traded, borrowed and taken at whim. It’s time we stopped conceding everything to the man.

If a man believes he deserves everything, why shouldn’t a woman?

Is it so wrong for women to want all or nothing? Men do it all the time. They throw us away when we’re not satisfying all their needs. They trade us in for newer models and expect certain things of the newest one. They want the housewife, the sex kitten and the unattached girlfriend. They want a porn star and the girl next door.

They expect us to be array of things, while we just ask for one thing: commitment. They can be whoever they want, dress however they want and act however they want. Just don’t treat us like an afterthought.

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You’re Worth More Than Half Of Someone’s Time

A relationship is the exchange of souls. It’s the drowning of emotion. It’s the dividing of hearts, and most importantly, it’s the loss and gain of time. It’s the decision to give up your life, the time that creates those moments in it, to someone else.

It’s the loss of hours, crying over someone who wasn’t worth it.

It’s the sleepless nights waiting for a call. It consumes your minutes, hours and days, until you wake up, realizing you’ve wasted years of your life on someone who wouldn’t spare you any time in return.

Love is only worth it when it’s mutual

No one wishes for unrequited love. It’s down there as the worse type of love there is (right below vengeful love and sacrificial love). It’s the kind of love that eats away at you, gnawing at the fragile muscle and tissue that protect your heart.

It’s the kind of love that brings you down, deep into despair. Because every type of love has its side effects and unrequited love brings the worst lows and hardest comedowns.

If you love someone who does not return it, you must leave him. Loving someone more than he loves you will only bring you a life of agony and despair. Find someone who doesn’t just take what you give him, but offers you something in return.


There will always be someone ready to treat you better

It may not seem like it, but the world is huge and there are other people out there. It’s not just you and him. It’s you, him and everyone else who could make you happy.

Why not share your love with someone who is ready to accept it? Just because one guy doesn’t value you for your time, doesn’t mean other men are as wasteful.

The world doesn’t have to be filled with strangers and unattainable options. You need to have the gumption and confidence to go out there and fight for your right to love and be loved. Remember, one uninterested guy doesn’t define all men.

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