When Should You Bring Up “Exclusivity” With Your New Love Interest?

So after your long sting of single-dom, you finally meet someone who shares your interests in comic relief, restaurants, movies and exercise routines. You have thoroughly enjoyed the dating journey that the two of you have shared and hope for it to grow into something more.



You have no interest in fishing for new prospects as you are 100% intrigued by your current company. No desire to upgrade or downgrade as you are comfortable and want to focus on building a relationship without any distractions. The goal is “exclusivity”…however, you wonder when you should bring this up as a topic of discussion.

When You Should Not Bring Up Exclusivity?


  • Not After Your First Three Dates: Slow down! This is just the tip of the “honeymoon” phase. You are just getting to know this person. Yes, right now it seems like you have found the perfect match. Wait until you at least have a few disagreements, before deciding you want to build a more substantial future with this person.
  • Not During The Middle of Any Sport Viewing or Theatrical Event/ Concert: These moments are meant to be light and fun. Not drowned out from serious discussions. Embrace this experience with your potential, the more enjoyment experienced the more memorable this moment will be for the two.
  • Not Before, During or After Sex: You and your partner’s emotions are a bit convoluted with intimacy on the brain. This may impair your decision. Now…some may say if you don’t want to feel like your goodies are a huge dating experiment, and don’t want it to go through multiple tries until you get it right…maybe you should wait until the intentions of each other are clear. Or, if  you can handle it..press on. I personally think open communication of your partner’s intentions should be made in the beginning. It may not necessarily mean the two of you will ultimately be exclusive…but you can know if that is what he or she is ultimately seeking.

What Men Want

When To Determine It Is Time To Discuss Exclusivity:

  • After At Least Three-Months Of Dating: This is minimal and may should be longer depending on the circumstance and allocated time the two of you were able to share together. If you only have seen this person once every two weeks, the time should be doubled. Dating is the time for you to explore your options and determine who you are the most compatible with. Therefore you shouldn’t necessarily be exclusive in the beginning nor should you expect your new prospect to be either.
  • Once Time Shared Between The Two Becomes More Frequent: When two people are in to each other, getting together becomes a higher priority on both of each other’s schedules. There is genuine interest from both in seeing where this connection may go. While there may be a balance between other priorities, you are attuned in knowing that when your interest is seeking companionship, you are on the top of the list.



While the timing in the relationship is important, the setting is also of importance. This is a discussion that is not taken lightly. Depending on the other party’s answer and acceptance, this could be the deal breaker or seal kisser to a budding relationship. The moment should be shared at a place where there is not too much noise or libations. You want the two of you to have a clear head and be able to share in meaningful dialogue without distractions.

  • Over Take-Out Chinese At The Crib: The two of you discussing the status of your relationship on a couch while chowing down on Chinese is ideal. Any elevated emotions are compartmentalized in either of your dwellings.
  • A Picnic At The Park: This is also a great place to enjoy private conversation without much distraction except from Mother Nature.
  • Dinner At A Quiet Restaurant/ Lounge: Key is quiet. No loud music in the background. Sort of a more formal setting but a great atmosphere to discuss the future of us.

When Do You Think Is The Most Opportune Time To Discuss “Exclusivity”? Share Any Success or Disaster Stories When The Topic Of Exclusivity Was Discussed!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s