If you are in the early stages of dating a man and you are having trouble reading his thoughts about you, there are several ways to grade his behavior if it is not obvious to you. These might be clues to his interest or lack thereof.
- Is he responsive to texts, calls or emails? Does he respond in a reasonable length of time to your communications?
- Does he initiate contact with you? Does he reach out to you without prompting on occasion?
- Is he eager to see you? Does he express that he is looking forward to your next date or an event coming up in the future?
- Is he reluctant to leave you? Does he linger at the end of a date stretching it out?
- Is he interested in you and your life? Does he ask about your day or about past events in your life?
- Is he helpful? Does he offer to help you with something that he knows a lot about or is good at?
- Is he verbally complimentary? Doe he give you an affirmation or compliment that you are good at something or speak kindly of qualities you possess?
- Has he introduced you to any family members or friends? When the opportunity arises, does he want to meet your friends and family or introduce you to his?
- Is he physically affectionate or want to be sexual with you? Does he show that he is physically attracted to you?
- Does he act like you are special? Has he shared that he would like to be exclusive with you?
- Does he mention future activities he would like to plan with you? Has he invited you to an event in the future?
If you do not see these factors, it could be that it is possible they will develop if you are patient and give it more time or you could be deluding yourself.
Here are some reasons that your guy is not interested or not ready:
- He is keeping his options open. He may be dating others at the same time or even be in a relationship.
- He may not be sure about you. He may not know you well enough yet and needs more time to get to know you.
- He may not have a connection or chemistry with you. Again, more time may help the connection and chemistry grow and develop.
- He may have some insecurity or fear. His last relationship may have ended badly, he may have been hurt, or he is feeling rusty with modern dating.
- He may be testing you. Due to some crazy woman before you, he may be taking it slow to ensure you won’t go psycho on him.
- He may not be in a hurry. He may want to take his time and not rush the process.
- He may have some unfinished business. He may have some ties or feelings with someone else that are not fully cut or is not in a place of trust due to a past failure.
If you feel good in his presence and have a fun on your dates with him, you may want to continue to get to know him and give him more time. Suggest different activities to see each other in different settings and wearing different clothes. What you both wear and talk about might be different over dinner verses a hike.
You may also need to work on your own communication and signals. Are you participating in communication and date invitation or do you expect him to do it all? Are you flirting or keeping it cool? It takes two to tango, so evaluate your own behavior to ensure you are sharing in the dating process and not expecting him to do everything.
And remember that a relationship that unfolds slowly probably has a higher likelihood of success in the long run. If you rush into sex and fast paced progression, you may crash and burn. Practice patience and have other things to keep yourself busy and happy. Don’t forget your friends and your favorite activities. Keep balance in your life as you date while holding some space open for the possibilities of a progressive relationship.
Savor unpeeling the onion in getting to know someone. Have faith that you would not have attracted someone you like into your life if you were not vibrating at a good energy level. Believe it will work out if it is meant to be and cultivate trust that you will learn a lot while you see how it progresses. Most importantly, have fun!