I never really understood the significance of losing a best friend, or disappointment in yourself and your friend that you held in such high regard, until recently.
If someone question my loyalty to this friend, I always shut them down. This person is truer than the color blue.
Despite the reason for the abrupt ending of our friendship, it is tough to fully comprehend the perceived bond will be a glimpse in the past.
The one person you always thought you could count on in keeping it straight, may not have always been 100%. Maybe my friend’s intentions were to protect me from the truth. Which I understand and forgive. I wish my friend had a better understanding of my inner strength and know that I could handle the truth and would still be an objective friend in the end.
This friend was there when I was making a pivotal decision about my divorce- listened to all of the woes. When I collapsed from running dealing with all the stresses, there was my friend urging me to check in the hospital, where the person in my household thought I would just be fine so their gym schedule would not be altered.
When I was going through my woes and maybe sipped one too many, that person told me about my lack of regard for my health and the well being of my children. The day of my surgery, that person was the one who came and checked on me immediately after arriving home from the hospital. Through dating, that person listened and gave me objective advice. Focus on your happiness is what my friend always urged. I never had to bite my tongue, be perfect or proper in my friend’s presence. I could just be raw and real, to a questionable point at times. That is what I appreciated the most, the acceptance of my imperfections, my human quality below the makeup, fancy resume and perfectionist mother persona. And I was never disrespected, despite my borderline manic outbursts when I felt ignored or wasn’t getting my way.
But there comes a point where a friendship needs to retire. So both of you can reach your pursuit of happy and soar through life without any guilt or regrets. Maybe out of curiosity I crossed the line of trust once there was a pathway to discover. But learning the truth was worth it… I thank my friend for allowing me to find it whether it was indirectly explaining another situation. Sometimes a person needs to go through such a humbling, in-your-face shocker to learn life’s true lessons. Friendships are not always meant to last forever. Sometimes it is to teach lessons…read inside the lines, listen to their advice, realize that why someone may not judge you, doesn’t mean they agree with all of your life’s decisions. Trust and honesty are important, and when it is circumvented even slightly it can wound. Makes you think twice of swaying your stinger at someone.
The best and worst part of our friendship is the ending. I rather learn the harsh truth from no one but my ole friend. It is truly appreciated. So I bid you Farewell Ole Friend! Much Love! I wish you peace, success and happiness in all of your endeavors!