Ben and Jen Banana Split- After 10 Years of Marriage! My Insights!

Actor and Director, Ben Affleck (42) and Actress Jennifer Garner (43) are getting a divorce after their 10 year marriage union. They have 2 daughters and one son together. Together they announced this public statement:

“After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time,” the couple said in a joint statement to Us Weekly on Tuesday, June 30. “This will be our only comment on this private, family matter. Thank you for understanding.”

My Insights!

This was one I didn’t see coming. They were a solid couple that ended as a result of life and growing apart. It goes to show despite how perfect a relationship appears on the outside, or how compatible and in love you were in the beginning, does not determine that you will be that way happily ever after. Life happens and you evolve. You grow apart from those you love dearly.

I can honestly say my marriage served a purpose in my life. My ex-husband and I met at a time where we were both eager, ambitious and career-driven and sought out home ownership and marriage was the next chapter in our lives based on what was taught. Our relationship was built on us both supporting and reaching those goals. When we had children, our relationship was re-purposed to create a union for them. But outside of that, there was much incompatibility in common interests, lack of communication,  lack of maturity on how to be a great partner to your mate and not really 100% ready to fully commit to the marriage union. Was it something we could of sought out in marriage counseling? Sure….but two people have to be willing to commit, to working on their marriage and initiate change from within.

I am grateful, that after the dust has settled from our divorce we have in some ways a better friendship as a co-parenting union than we did when we were married. We recognize our differences, respect that their are certain ways about both of us that will never change and in what each of us want in life remains different. We are able to be honest and upfront for the most part. There is also an appreciation of the great qualities that we both have…as now engulfed in the single life realize are difficult to find in someone else.

I can hear my ex’s dating stories without feeling some type of way and likewise. Only when I feel his date life is at my children’s expense

What remains, is that there is a respect that we are both great parents to our children. And we are both adored by our children and our goal is to make sure they are happy.

Life goes in phases! If your happiness in your marriage union is jeopardized and is beyond repair, move forward. Marriage for many of us in the 21st Century is not always “Til Death Do Us Part”.

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