6 Obvious Signs You’re Not Ready For A Relationship

Thought this was a good read! Very Concise but Telling! Enjoy!

Many people are so focused on finding someone to be their significant other, that that they overlook the fact that they’re not ready for commitment. You’d think you’d realize you don’t want to be in a relationship, but that’s not always true. Instead, you may be a craving to have someone in your life to share things with. Don’t confuse this feeling with being ready to be in a relationship.
Here are some signs that suggest you might not be ready for a relationship:

1. You’re drawn to the wrong person.

Time after time, the person that you’re attracted to is in no way the one you should be with. Even though you’re warned that they might be a huge player or a loser, it doesn’t stop you from latching onto them. It also doesn’t take very long to realize that you’ve made a big mistake.

2. You are only happy when you have “someone.”

When you’re invited to a social event, unless you have a date to escort you, it’s likely that you’ll make up an excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself first.

Some women feel like they need to “fix” someone. This translates into drama. They find someone who’s dysfunctional and then keep busy by trying to saving him. Being a therapist isn’t the same thing as being a girlfriend.

On the flip side, you might want someone to save you. If you’re constantly talking about what a mess your life is, it’s important to fix it all before you’re ready for a real relationship. You’ll most likely attract another person with all of your same issues, so neither of you will get better.

3. You think a relationship will complete you.
While this sounds great in a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no completing. In fact, you might consider looking for a partner who will complement you. This makes you look a lot less needy.

4. You spend more time looking for love than enjoying your interests.

Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever plan to meet the right person, but don’t plan all of your outings around “The Hunt.”

5. Your baggage is holding you back.

You haven’t truly and thoroughly dealt with any leftover emotional baggage from previous relationships. Until you do, all your future relationships will be “rebounds.” Another person isn’t necessarily going to take your mind off of your ex.

6. You don’t feel you can be your authentic self.

There is no need to turn yourself inside out to make sure you’re exactly what someone else wants. Be more concerned about whether or not the other person is exactly what you want.

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13 Heartbreaking Things Divorce REALLY Takes From You

I thought this was a wonderful article written by Christie G. on YourTango.com in discussing the aspects of life that divorce takes from you. I thought I would share.

Continue reading 13 Heartbreaking Things Divorce REALLY Takes From You

New Year New Vision!

Reflecting on my blog posts from last year at this time…I ask myself did I achieve my goals for 2014.  I can say I honestly did. I remain optimistic on life, pushing forward in all my aspirations.  I approach all new situations with an open mind and heart. Continue reading New Year New Vision!

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 470,000 times in 2014. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 20 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Check Out me on TMZ Live Today! Discussing Chris Rock’s Divorce!

Tune into your local FOX Network for my take on Chris Rock’s divorce today 12/29/14. Is Happily Ever After Extinct? Is it all about finding your personal happiness as oppose to staying in a marriage for the sake of history and kids?

Episode Link is below:

http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_npza25ez/

download (1)

According to certain media sources Chris Rock is dating his “Top Five” co-star Rosario Dawson. Not confirming it…but the word is there.

Well they say when men divorce they are either profusely unhappy, meaning they have been that way for some time or their is another interest in mind. Like I said only 20% of divorces are filed by men.

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Chris Rock Files For Divorce After Almost 20 Years of Marriage?

Say It Isn’t So!!!! Chris Rock files for divorce from his wife Malaak after 19 years of marriage. What is really going on? Is there a Happily Ever After anymore? According to a statement from Chris Rock’s lawyer to People magazine and his soon to be ex-wife Malaak.

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The actor, 49, and Malaak, 45, exchanged vows in 1996. The couple has been residing in New Jersey, where they are raising their two daughters, Lola Simone, 12, and Zahra Savannah, 10.

My Insights!

About 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I wonder if it is a matter of the two growing apart or personal interests have drifted outside of their union. Well I am glad the two are committed to the welfare of their children. Both of their kids are in the pre-adolescent stage. While divorce for children is hard, I believe this tender age where kids are discovering change to their bodies, personalities in becoming young adults and figuring who they are, it becomes more critical on how two parents deal with the separation for the sake of their children.

I wish them the best in finding an amenable solution.

16 Struggles Of Being Both An Independent Woman And A Hopeless Romantic

Thought this was fantastic! My Struggle Every Day or Every Other Day depending if I am focusing on the Independent Woman or the Hopeless Romantic side of me.

Can’t Waste My Breath!

I can’t waste my breath on recurring themes in my life hoping for a different outcome.

My words fall on death ears…..first it is polite favors, turns to negotiations, then a debate to a full blown disagreement…. Anger and frustration rises.

Certain ways of people will never change. I can scream through the roof….but it is transparent.

That favor of being more accommodating, taking initiative, understanding my needs, my children…… you will never fully comprehend.

The transparency is apparent from the last time my request ended with the same outcome.

Yet you wonder why I was in search for a way out. Why I could not deal with your lack of regard of “ME” or “US” or “THEM”.

Vain, selfish ways do not deserve unconditional love. And as you see it dissipated….you stand alone.

I stand alone, with a weight off my shoulder. There are challenges and unknowns….but a gain of a full appreciation of ME!

I can’t waste my breath any longer!

Continue reading Can’t Waste My Breath!

Keep It Classy! Break-ups Aren’t Easy!

Your heart feels hollow! It was once filled with promise of reciprocity: love, friendship, trust and intimacy. You just vested your time, heart and everything you had in this person. Your hopes of possibly having a “happily ever after” did not manifest. Sadness runs through your body. Your emotions run wild. Was these feelings you had based on real happenings or was it all staged to captivate your heart and watch it shatter in a thousand pieces? Was it something you did wrong or quality that you lacked? Or was it just timing? Maybe your canvas of a relationship did not match your partner’s. Maybe he found it in another.

Despite the demise of a relationship, the outcome of how it ends is controlled by you. Hone in all of those emotions, be it hate, sorrow, or relief. If you felt that you were double-crossed by someone you trusted or angry that the outcome just did not go your way, do not seek revenge. Get your head out of the past. Good Riddance! There is no need to seek for your ex-partner to feel the type of hurt your feeling internally.

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No need to defame your mate’s character via social media or any public setting, resort to physical or verbal abuse, or even cold silence if your ex- is reaching out. Aim to keep it a peaceful parting. Continue reading Keep It Classy! Break-ups Aren’t Easy!

A personal journey and pathway to minimize obstacles living as a divorcee

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