Tag Archives: Christmas

My New Year’s Eve Kiss

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Today is a time to celebrate. What a rocky year 2013 has been. This year has been full of changes. My status changed from married to divorced and I grasped the horns of becoming a single mother. I look forward to the New Year and plan to celebrate a bittersweet ending to 2013 and hopes and promises that I look forward to in 2014. I plan to take my lessons learned in 2013 and fine-tune my priorities in life.  Refer to blog post “Lessons Learned: Grass Isn’t Greener-Onward to 2014.

I will start New Year’s Eve with a healthy protein breakfast and a quick work-out to remind myself that my health and staying fit will be even more significant in the new year. Then off to the Beautician so he can make me fabulous for my evening festivities. As keeping up my appearance as a 30-something youngin’ is also on the top of my priorities in the New Year. My grandmother reminded me of this during my Christmas visit. Her quote, “If everything else is not going right at the moment, just make sure you keep your appearance in tact…everything else will eventually fall into place.” So I will take heed to that advice.  I will continue to pamper myself and prepare for the night festivities. My festive Freak-um dress awaits.

I plan to spend the New Year’s  Eve with friends at the festive gala. No “Boo” to share in the arrival of 2014 and ending of 2013 with. Any prospects I shared time with in 2013 are more likely planning to share it with another boo or indulging in their own swag. No worries…..New Year’s Eve is a time to cherish with those who are special in your life. There is no other people  I would prefer to share this moment with besides my sprouts whom I watched the ball drop with over the past few years, than my friends. Plus, a gala is always great to meet new male friends that could turn into a positive in 2014.

My glass will be filled with spirits and I will laugh and dance the night away. When the ball drops and cheers begin for the new year, I plan to share in a New Year’s kiss with a new friend. It may or may not be innocent, I will just seize the moment. In 2014 a new chapter and fresh page in my book of life begins. So what better way to celebrate the beginning of 2014 than a perfect New Year’s kiss at midnight? No formalities are needed. Just Pucker Up!

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Lesson Learned: Grass Isn’t Greener- Onward to 2014

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While content with my new status as divorced and a single mother of two….in 2013 I learned some real life lessons as a divorcee. Lessons I have learned this year have helped shape me into becoming a stronger and more optimistic woman for the upcoming new year. Transitioning from a married woman to an independent, strong-minded and optimistic single mother is a journey. I am still a work-in-progress. One-step at a time. While the struggle is real, I am more proud of myself of gaining my independence and standing for what I believe in and rightfully deserve. Lessons learned in 2013:

1) Adjusting Financially Without A Plus-One- Despite how much I re-calculated the figures it would take to support myself and kids, I realized I still need to scale back. Exiting the divorce, I thought I can maintain the exact lifestyle I had as married. But I realize that no matter how much you recalculate expenses, child support and your income….all the extra stuff the kids need and want is on you. Afterall, the smoothed out monthly child support payments is all I receive. I have to budget for those windfall expenses that come up a few times a year. Have to save up for securing your child for school placement, Christmas gifts, entertainment, extracurriculars, vacations and summer camp. Disposable income is not as in abundance prior to divorce when both parents are paying for their own house expenses.

2) Dating..Requires Kissing Many Ugly Frogs– As a married woman I was warned of the snakes out there. In fact, when married I came across a few men that tried to test my marriage union. However, I came out of marriage approaching dating life optimistically. I was and still am open-minded to love. However, I have come across plenty of ugly frogs this year. Maybe initially masked as Prince Charmings….but with surprise antics of an ugly frog. My encounters include men who are not really ready to be in a relationship…but talk and act as if they are from the initial meeting then do a switch up; gents who are heavy in their pursuit of my heart and once I give an opening, they get back with their ex-girlfriend or there was a secret girlfriend all along or they are just players at heart and then there are the guys who care but just are emotionally unavailable. Meeting these ugly frogs tugs at your self-esteem, you wonder is there a Prince Charming there for you. You reminisce on some of the great qualities your ex-husband possessed and the benefits of marriage…such as exclusivity, always a plus one at social events, a date to an anticipated movie release, a claim that you are his woman. You realize the single life, while exciting at first… date night becomes tiring and routine. Dates do not thrive to the next level, the most memorable moments of the year are still shared alone. You realize the grass isn’t greener. You start to doubt your original judgment leading to your divorce…Should I just forgave my ex and settle for mediocrity and compromise my values and wants in life? But I shake my head no. I knew dating as a single-mom would not be easy….everything worthy in value takes time. So I remain patient and am optimistic for the new year. Round 2 for new dating prospects.

3) Love yourself first and don’t wait on anyone to do what your heart desires– Now I see myself as a pretty confident, self-sufficient and happy woman. However, I realize that before pursuing a relationship, I have to make sure I am loving myself first. At times I take care of everyone else before tending to myself, the “mommy instinct”. I really don’t expect anything in return but someone’s appreciation. I have progressed in this area through my adulthood. However, I adjust my schedule when maybe I shouldn’t be so accommodating, as it is not reciprocated. So in 2014 I plan to make loving myself and pursuing my interests my number one priority…well second only to my care for my children.

4) A Perfect Man Does Not Exist–  Well I knew this, maybe it was just reinforced a bit in 2013. I have been married for over seven years after all so I should know. As I begin dating and despite some larger issues regarding timing of when someone is ready to pursue a relationship; there are certain common quirks that most men have. I reflect on some of the arguments my ex-husband and I would have deriving from our pet peeves with each other. Such common themes in men that I have encountered include: forgetfulness, workaholic ethic that at times supersedes “boo” time, unkempt or overly casual dress at times when you aim to look a winner for a date (albeit a casual date), a bit overindulged with their boys time (not an issue if I felt us women were more like this too), and/or not always great in keeping the phone charged and just-in-time responsive to my calls and texts especially after a long night of bonding with the boys. That is just mannish stuff that men do. I don’t even sweat the small stuff unless there is a underlying reason beyond being a man who is resulting in these common missteps. However, I also came across a few surprises. For instance more of these older single men, living independently for so long are often times a better chef than me…or maybe just better meat cookers. So in 2014 I plan to be less picky on small matters and focus on the larger issues.

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Despite the few blows to the ego, adjustments to finances and jabs at my heart, I remain optimistic for the new year. While it may start a bit rough as 2013 events spill into 2014….I look forward to the path becoming smoother soon. All I hope for in the near future is continued blessings for my children,  good health and strength to pursue my aspirations in life and remain open to love. I am proud that I have persevered and overcame 2013 challenges. I press on and continue my pursuit in becoming a happily divorcee. The grass isn’t always greener…..but sometimes, when you wait and seek what you rightfully deserve a beautiful garden awaits.

Happy Holidays From Your Happily Divorcee!

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As 2013 approaches to a close, I want to thank all of those who have read and supported my blog. My gratitude is extended to all those who follow. Without you all, I would have a silent ear to share my insights and thoughts in dealing with relationships, parenthood and living as a happily divorcee.

I have enjoyed this season thus far with my sprouts as we cheer on the holidays. I expect there will be many more fun-fulfilled moments as I see the excitement in my children’s eyes as they open their presents from Santa. While status is still single, my heart is warmed by their love. Together, their father and I come together to ensure there is nothing missed this Christmas season.

I hope everyone cherishes their time with their loved ones. Maximize the now and indulge in the present. I hope to continue to provide many interesting and thought-provoking posts in the new year. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

I Am Jealous! I Am Human! Love Brings It When You Ain’t Acting Right!

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Over the weekend I had the opportunity to listen to Beyonce’s new fifth album. The entire music and video compilation is excellent. As a grown woman, I am able to identify with all of her songs. When listening and watching the video  “Jealous”….I could not help to recollect on my own experiences with men and the raw emotion of jealousy. Continue reading I Am Jealous! I Am Human! Love Brings It When You Ain’t Acting Right!

Christmas New Beginnings with the Sprouts!

I reflect on my Christmas season so far with the sprouts. This is the first season with just us three. We had an awesome time trimming the tree, baking ginger bread cookies, sipping egg nog and watching Continue reading Christmas New Beginnings with the Sprouts!

As Published on Joint Interest Digital Magazine: Holiday Party Mingle Etiquete 101

Please read my contributing article as published on Joint Interest: Upload 2 The New Connected World Digital Magazine. Also sign up for weekly updates and look out for future contributing articles as well.

Holiday Party Mingling Etiquette 101

cocktail-e761d5bf0b90b45e54653010e5226bd2eacda25d-s6-c30 Photo source: www.npr.org 

Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Years are approaching. December is a busy month. There is so much on your plate. Holiday trimming, gift shopping, gifts wrapping, preparing your favorite seasonal meals and let’s not forget the numerous holiday parties that fill your calendar. This is the time to shine as a social-lite and take advantage of the opportunities to meet new acquaintances. To maximize your exposure and effect, I thought I would provide some tips to enhance your meet and greet game.

tumblr_inline_mw7z6h3CDg1qboqbvPhoto Source: blog.birchbox.com

1) Find that perfect festive outfit. Wear holiday colors, shimmers and glitter. That will surely make you stand out in a crowd. Cheerful attire states that you are amicable to others. Make sure the outfit you choose is appropriate for the event you are attending and is flattering to your shape and build.

2) Have a positive attitude and an open-mind. Put your stresses behind and prepare to have good fun. Leave the attitudes and drama at home. Thoughts of work deadlines, bills, lack of romantic partners to exchange holiday gifts convolute your presence when out and about. You can’t have an open mind when you bring stress to the party.

people-talking-at-cocktail-party_pop_13796Photo source: www.jehovahs-witness.net

3) Smile, smile and smile. Be flirty. Keep the curled lips and pouts at home. Show those pearly whites you were blessed with. A smile goes a long way. Make eye contact and smile to any gent or lady you would like to meet. You will be surprised where that smile takes you.

4) Separate yourself from your friends and co-workers. Walk the room. No one likes to approach someone when there is an audience to witness them at their most vulnerable moment. They don’t want anyone to witness a possible awkward moment of rejection, loss of words, or their best Mack daddy/ mamma game out on display. Separating yourself and taking a break from your crew. Taking a lap around the venue eludes that you are confident, independent and possibly single.

5) Don’t wait for someone to make the first move. This is especially for the ladies. Men do not always have to approach you. Sometimes they need to feel comforted that you are open to meeting them. A smile on your face and direct eye contact works most of the time. But sometimes you need to have that ultimate ice-breaker. Bring up the holiday gala or party and how they got the invite, be versed in current events, and talk about the tasty hors de oeuvres’.  Let the person know you’re interested in what they are discussing by asking follow-up questions about the current topic. Keep the conversations afloat. Don’t let an opportunity to meet a potential great mate pass because you are too shy to open your mouth or unable to navigate the conversation.

What Is Your Holiday Party Mingling Etiquette?

Holiday Party Mingle Etiquette 101- My Insights!

 

Holiday mingling

Photo source: rollingout.com

Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Years are approaching. December is a busy month. There is so much on your plate. Holiday trimming, gift shopping, gifts wrapping, preparing your favorite seasonal meals and let’s not forget the numerous holiday parties that fill your calendar. This is the time to shine as a social-lite and take advantage of the opportunities to meet new acquaintances. To maximize your exposure and effect, I thought I would provide some tips to enhance your meet and greet game.

Santa hat

Photo Source: thegrio.com

1) Find that perfect festive outfit. Wear holiday colors, shimmers and glitter. That will surely make you stand out in a crowd. Cheerful attire states that you are amicable to others. Make sure the outfit you choose is appropriate for the event you are attending and is flattering to your shape and build.

2) Have a positive attitude and an open-mind. Put your stresses behind and prepare to have good fun. Leave the attitudes and drama at home. Thoughts of work deadlines, bills, lack of romantic partners to exchange holiday gifts convolute your presence when out and about. You can’t have an open mind when you bring stress to the party.

Smiley

Photo source: essence.com

3) Smile, smile and smile. Be flirty. Keep the curled lips and pouts at home. Show those pearly whites you were blessed with. A smile goes a long way. Make eye contact and smile to any gent or lady you would like to meet. You will be surprised where that smile takes you.

4) Separate yourself from your friends and co-workers. Walk the room. No one likes to approach someone when there is an audience to witness them at their most vulnerable moment. They don’t want anyone to witness a possible awkward moment of rejection, loss of words, or their best Mack daddy/ mamma game out on display. Separating yourself and taking a break from your crew. Taking a lap around the venue eludes that you are confident, independent and possibly single.

5) Don’t wait for someone to make the first move. This is especially for the ladies. Men do not always have to approach you. Sometimes they need to feel comforted that you are open to meeting them. A smile on your face and direct eye contact works most of the time. But sometimes you need to have that ultimate ice-breaker. Bring up the holiday gala or party and how they got the invite, be versed in current events, and talk about the tasty hors de oeuvres’.  Let the person know you’re interested in what they are discussing by asking follow-up questions about the current topic. Keep the conversations afloat. Don’t let an opportunity to meet a potential great mate pass because you are too shy to open your mouth or unable to navigate the conversation.

Preparations for Holiday Cheer as a Happily Divorcee! Salute!

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December is my favorite month of the year. My inner child jumps out and starts to count down the 25 days to Christmas, embrace the festivities of Kwanzaa and listen to the stories of Hanukkah celebrations from my Jewish friends. I am just as eager for Santa Claus coming to town, holiday cookies, Christmas tree trimming, watching Home Alone, It’s A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and Santa Claus series movies on television as my sprouts. I am equally excited over the adult holiday party social gatherings.  Holiday parties are the best as everyone looks forward to the annual gatherings and is the time you can blame your excessive alcohol intake to the joys of giving.  I prepare myself to the many holiday work lunch feasts, after-hour holiday parties, gift exchanges, and most importantly paying gratitude to those who provide service and love to you year-round.

This is the first holiday season where my status will be single. I plan to embrace my singleness while festive in holiday spirit. No sense on dwelling in the past where I always had a date to share my holiday experiences. My electronic RSVP’s will be for just one. Any plus one’s will be reserved for one of my fellow single girlfriends.  It is time to maximize my exposure and what better time than the month of December.

Hello New York City! Introducing me, the fiery firecracker, independent, charismatic, hilarious super woman and mother of two.  Oh and by the way, I am single! And…I can’t tell you how long that status will be…..so get to know me now….as my window for meeting new people is narrowing as we speak. I will strut and exude holiday fumes of gingerbread, peppermint, and pine from my outer presence. As I plan to be fully decked in holiday essence.

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I will sip my spiked eggnog, hog out on the ham, wear my most sexy festive holiday outfit, dance to my favorite holiday classics like Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” and reserve special moments under the mistletoe for the fellas that are deemed worthy. Afterall I am a Happily Divorcee!

I will not let my spirits damper reflecting on past holiday traditions. It is time for new experiences and opportunities. Tis is the time to celebrate the ending of a challenging year, reflect on your blessings, cherish the wonderful people who remain in your life and look forward to new beginnings. Fill your pathway with Joy, Peace and Happiness as we enter into 2014.

I say Cheers! Salute! A La Votre! Saude! Salud! Tos! Prosit! to good times for all. Enjoy your holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Hanukkah! Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noel! Froliche Weihnachten! Feliz Natal! I look forward to sharing all of my holiday experiences with everyone this month….Stay Tuned!

New Thanksgiving Traditions…Gobble! Gobble!

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As Thanksgiving approaches tomorrow, I reflect on who and what I am deeply thankful to and for.  So far 2013 has been a year of rapid changes, new beginnings and bittersweet endings. I am blessed, that through all the transition, I had friends, family and my own strength to persevere. I have remain grounded with sanity in check for the most part. I was able to channel my few inner crazy chick moments to positive ventures…such as the creation of this blog.

This year will be the first where the kids, my ex-husband and myself will not celebrate together.  I plan to make sure this Thanksgiving holiday will be just as memorable as others. Tomorrow the kids and I will have Thanksgiving in South Jersey with my family. I am saved from doing all the cooking this year, but plan on bringing a few of my specialty dishes. Following our return from the family feast, the kids will be traveling with their father to visit his family in Connecticut. In prior years, Black Friday we would begin the festive Christmas activities, visit Santa Claus at the Herald Square Macy’s, window shop and view the animated Christmas themed windows at the high-end department stores on 5th Avenue and take pictures with the Rockefeller Center’s Christmas tree as our backdrop.  This was typically followed with a drive to visit my ex’s family in Connecticut.

This weekend I will have to myself. I have not yet figured how I would spend those days to myself. However, I decided to establish a new tradition. Today on Thanksgiving Eve, the children and I will attend a Broadway musical. Both of my kids share my appreciation of Broadway plays. This idea came about as I was pondering on how I would spend the day, while working from home with the sprouts tearing the house apart.  I decided to splurge and get 3 Orchestra seat tickets to Annie. A treat to myself and to the kids.  I am elated.  I love Broadway plays and musicals, which was never shared by my ex-spouse. Between tonight’s play and tomorrow’s feast, I could not be more content of my new Thanksgiving tradition. I am blessed to have a supportive family and two wonderful kids whom I can share this holiday with. I plan to attend a Broadway play every year. If we decide to travel a given year, I may have to alter the tradition a bit. I cannot be more blessed this year. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Gobble! Gobble!