Tag Archives: conflict

A Relationship Red Flag! How Long Should You Hold Back Concerns In A Sprouting Relationship Before It Backfires or Good Riddance?

You have met a wonderful gent, he is handsome, charismatic and shows genuine interest in you. The two of you hit it off and enjoy each other’s company.This guy has wonderful qualities and so far it seems your timing in life and priorities are in sync.

Now of course he is not perfect, there are certain nuances you pick up early on. But they are not considered deal breakers, but something that would need to be further dissected. You are still very much interested in getting to know this gent further as the positive qualities outweigh the negatives so far.

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Time goes on and you continue to admire the positives. He is for the most part consistent. The interest in each other is equally yoked. Continue reading A Relationship Red Flag! How Long Should You Hold Back Concerns In A Sprouting Relationship Before It Backfires or Good Riddance?

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Scandal Arises In the Jay and Bey Reign- Their Influence on “Marriage” in Hip Hop!

Jay-Z and Beyonce are considered the “Power Couple” in the Hip Hop culture.  In a music video crazed, reality tv,  hyper-celebrity influenced society…there are very few examples especially in the minority community of a healthy monogamous marriage that exists between two people who are younger than the Baby Boomer generation. My peers and the younger community aspire for such a Continue reading Scandal Arises In the Jay and Bey Reign- Their Influence on “Marriage” in Hip Hop!

The Gym: My Constant Friend

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The gym has and continues to be my constant as I go through the ebbs and flows of my new life path.  Now I have always been sporadically physically active  throughout my adulthood but of course there are life obstacles that stray you away. Childbirth, work deadlines, kids activities, social commitments and the emotions of dealing with marriage, family and friends. But I will say the summer of 2012 was when I decided to make exercise a constant influence in my life. Last summer was a very emotional period….as I was contemplating my decision regarding my marriage. I needed an escape and outlet to channel my depression, grief, anxiety, confusion and lets just say control the inner “crazy chick” that started to amuse the visuals in my head of my children’s father becoming a full-size punching bag. So I needed to run from reality and clear my head. It began by taking AM three-mile runs along the Jersey City waterfront. Then I incorporated bootcamp, kickboxing, sculpting, dancing and spinning classes. The gym provided me with a sense of community.  When you see others dedicated to attending class you aim to follow suit.  I found a great instructor that was tough-spirited and played all of my favorite beats. A gym class that simulates a club experience? What??? This is a hidden secret. These classes aided me in channeling my negative energy into building my self esteem. I started to notice the change in my physical appearance, others began to take notice. And let me tell you a woman on the brinks of divorce….compliments on how together you look is the best positive reinforcement a woman could want. However, don’t get too caught up in the hype….you have to maintain your effort and also decipher between the compliments and just the dating “game”.

When I start my work day in downtown Manhattan and am bogged down with the occasional blues….maybe because I am frustrated on how tough it is to be a single mom and how their father could be of better help, bothered that my son went to school angry because I made him tardy again, or my post-divorce dating life sucks…and it looks like my new founded single-hood will be a constant state in my life, or forgot that I had a 9am meeting at work and was completely unprepared to provide a de-brief on my existing projects….My lunch date with New York Health and Raquet Club helps me clear out all of those frustrations. Regardless if I am prepared or not for my gym date….by the end…. I feel refreshed and positive-spirited that I conquered the task at hand. The perspiration from my gym class sheds the toxins of my blues away.

When I reflect on how I was able to manage through my decision in getting a divorce, going through the paperwork and court, the back and forth of negotiating and my current journey as a single mom and divorcee….the gym has been my relentless friend. The gym has been there to pull me up and build my confidence to where it is at present. The gym is my constant. The gym is my unconditional friend.