This morning I read this forthright article posted on NBC Today in the Health section which I found from HuffPostDivorce. A divorce mediator tells of her 10 things she was not prepared for in her own divorce which resonates not only with me but other divorcees. Continue reading 10 things I wish I’d known before getting divorced
Your heart feels hollow! It was once filled with promise of reciprocity: love, friendship, trust and intimacy. You just vested your time, heart and everything you had in this person. Your hopes of possibly having a “happily ever after” did not manifest. Sadness runs through your body. Your emotions run wild. Was these feelings you had based on real happenings or was it all staged to captivate your heart and watch it shatter in a thousand pieces? Was it something you did wrong or quality that you lacked? Or was it just timing? Maybe your canvas of a relationship did not match your partner’s. Maybe he found it in another.
Despite the demise of a relationship, the outcome of how it ends is controlled by you. Hone in all of those emotions, be it hate, sorrow, or relief. If you felt that you were double-crossed by someone you trusted or angry that the outcome just did not go your way, do not seek revenge. Get your head out of the past. Good Riddance! There is no need to seek for your ex-partner to feel the type of hurt your feeling internally.
No need to defame your mate’s character via social media or any public setting, resort to physical or verbal abuse, or even cold silence if your ex- is reaching out. Aim to keep it a peaceful parting. Continue reading Keep It Classy! Break-ups Aren’t Easy!
Having a bit of experience in dating as a professional, thirty-something divorcee, there are certain attributes I look out for. One attribute is the way a man deals with their own issues and the role that I play in it. This allows me to understand his emotional strength and how he sees me in his life. Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs personal space to deal with the curve balls life sometimes throws at us. Continue reading Does The Way A Man Cope With Stress- Determine Whether He Is A Keeper? A Few Red Flags!
As a recently divorced mom, I am aware that there has been change in my children’s behavior post-divorce. As much as you try to shield them from all of the drama and chaos, it is impossible to mask them from all disagreement and keep everything consistent prior to Continue reading Sprouts, Divorce and Chaos! Is it Manageable?
Source: David Swales http://www.flickr.com/photos/david_swales
Here is a quotation about divorce from Grammy winner Shania Twain,upon her divorce from husband for 15 years, Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange :
“My divorce was like a death – a genuine death of commitment and love. After I got over the shock, I was like, tell me there’s some way we can save this. We can save this, right?“
The day after Shania’s husband announced that he wanted a divorce, she found out about his long-time affair with her best friend.
“I wanted to die. I had a panic attack.”
“I had been very angry, angry enough to lose control; none of us are above it.“
We all have our moments where we reach the optimal point of anger and hurt, where the “inner crazy chick” wants to takeover your sanity. Because that “inner crazy chick” is not having it at all! She will not be played and is ready to express her anger and hurt to the loved one that hurt her. Just remember this too shall pass. And at the end we all want to move forward without any regrets of past actions that could affect our future deserving joys in life. We all get to that point where we want to lose control. While we may want that “inner crazy chick” to break-out at that moment. Whatever satisfaction of throwing your cell phone or high heel shoe at his face…or if your thoughts go much farther to busting windows and slashing tires on his car or well just doing any violent act that resembles the hurt you are feeling …..it will not heal your broken heart. Just give you a moment of satisfaction…just think of your future beyond him. Burry your face in a pillow, get a few good cries out and move on!