Tag Archives: Gabrielle Union

What If You Turned In Your “Ride or Die” Chick Title Too Soon? Can You Reclaim Your Title? Takeaways from Being Mary Jane

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Last night was the two-hour season finale of “Being Mary Jane”.  I have enjoyed the show immensely and have been eager each Tuesday to watch the upcoming episode. While, like many I do not view Mary Jane as a role model but as entertainment. However, I do think she highlights the vulnerabilities, insecurities and carelessness that many women experience when seeking love. Continue reading What If You Turned In Your “Ride or Die” Chick Title Too Soon? Can You Reclaim Your Title? Takeaways from Being Mary Jane

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Protect Your Assets! Is Prenup The Way To Go? Gabby Union Speaks! My Insights!

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Photo Source: http://www.blackmediascoop.com

On the heels of Gabrielle Union’s recent appearance on The Arsenio Hall’s Show I cannot help to address the sticky topic of “Prenup”.  During the show Gabrielle Union mentioned the following regarding her much-anticipated marriage to Dwayne Wade:

“For this marriage, the biggest difference between this and the last marriage will be a prenup…at my insistence. When you have you own stuff, you don’t need to worry about anybody else’s stuff. So everyone should go into the relationship knowing I’m here for you and you’re here for me. And the reality is, I’ve never seen Dwyane balance a checkbook, so I gotta protect my stuff. It’s the wave of the future, protecting your stuff.” 

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My Insights!

Recently going through a divorce, while more seamless than my peers, I cannot help but to reluctantly agree with Gabby’s stance on prenuptial agreement prior to marriage. As a professional woman in my thirties,  I have worked hard for my current lifestyle and assets. I also applaud and appreciate the man who I choose to share my life with on his accomplishments and assets attained prior to meeting me. I am also realistic that marriage does not always result in a happily ever after. I am comfortable with my lifestyle at present and God forbid if I do get re-married and it just happens not to work out. However, if that happens, I would like to return to my existing lifestyle and I would expect my mate would as well. Thus, I feel what I bring into the marriage and likewise for my mate, we will continue to keep those assets despite our marriage outcome. Now assets we acquired together, those can be up for debate and an agreement can be etched out in the prenuptial agreement as well. And of couse if there are children, it is a requirement that they would be taken care of. But I am a successful and independent woman who is capable of taking care of herself. Now if my man insists that he wants to continue to partially provide in the event our marriage does not work out, or if the outcome is due to his detriment the financial boundaries can be discussed and included in a prenuptial agreement. In a marriage union, all I ask and require is love, a best friend that provides spiritual, mental and physical support. I hope to build a more powerful empire together financially, but understand that the assets we worked hard attaining separately should not be at risk of losing in the event we cannot resolve our relationship issues between each other.

Now, that does not mean I want all the selfish and greedy men flocking to me. It is just that I respect your hustle before me and would not want to risk what you worked hard for prior to meeting me in a court battle. And likewise for me. Now my offsprings from my marriage, yes I expect my potential mate to make sure my children are well taken care of.

But yes, in this day and age women are likely to be just as successful as their mate, and we are also at risk of losing their assets. This is a new age from our parents generation. I reflect on a girlfriend’s recent situation who was the breadwinner in her household and  was required to pay alimony, based on a calculation in the state of New Jersey that dictated whomever is the highest earner must pay a designated amount to the spouse. Through my divorce, we came to our own agreement and bypassed the legal system meddling in our affairs. Yes, I could have probably benefited from more but there was also a risk that I could be the subject of paying alimony too. While we did not have a prenuptial agreement, we both respected each other’s hustle to bow out and leave with what we walked into our marriage with. The most important decision was to come with a support agreement for our children’s best interest.

So I am pro a prenuptial agreement, marriage is about building a life together with the person you love, but in case the outcome is not a happily ever after, you should not have to re-build from scratch, especially if you were living comfortably prior to the union. Both parties should be able to return to their status quo pre-marriage.

What Are Your Thoughts? Would You Request A Pre-Nup Prior to Marriage?

Addicted to Attention and Intimacy? Takeaways from “Being Mary Jane”

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Photo Source: http://www.necolebitchie.com

While watching “Being Mary Jane” this past Tuesday, the centralized topic on the episode was Mary Jane’s struggle with  her addiction to men. Her brother who is a recovering cocaine addict, points out her addictive symptoms as she tries to quiet him on his recent discover of her own indiscretions. Pointedly, his knowledge that Mary Jane is having an affair with a married man. He points out her wrongdoing. Mary Jane defends her actions by stating her lover’s profession of his love for her. Her brother proceeds in stating she possesses the symptoms of addiction: self-denial, risk taking, secrecy and solitude, excess consumption, sacrificing personal well-being, and later on she demonstrates her withdrawal symptoms as she attempts to rectify her situation but weakens for that fix of male attention and affection. Her addiction to seek comfort from a man overrides her common sense.

There should be introspection by us, women and men alike that engage in continuing unhealthy relationships for the sake of attention and affection. While our vice may not be drugs or alcohol per se, but a desperation of intimacy with the opposite sex. Do you crave that attention and/or intimacy, where you lower your standards in what you normally would accept from a mate?

Mary Jane completed a questionnaire where the outcome of her answers categorized her as a 100% addict. Questions posed were centered around engaging in actions that are deemed unhealthy and her willingness to participate in similar occurrences in the future, knowing the outcome does not provide a happy ending but a damaged heart.

Addiction to attention in my opinion is a pattern. This person always tends to seek love from a partner that is emotionally unavailable or is belonging to someone else. This is despite their knowledge that the person they are dealing with does not possess the required qualities to foster a health relationship, yet they still keep returning to that person or continue to attract the same type of people. The unavailable individual in returns that seeks a good time preys on these addicts.

There is no wrong in desiring to be in an intimate relationship and not wanting to be single forever. Most people seek to obtain a lifelong partner in their life. Dating responsibly and not compromising your standards to attain intimacy is healthy. However, when meeting the opposite sex becomes an obsession;  a gold star to happiness, where the person underscores their self-worth and lowers their standards of qualities that are desires from a mate, repetitively for a few hours of intimacy, is a problem.

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Photo Source: http://www.vibe.com

As humans, we experience disappointment and become unhappy.  It is natural seeking solace through people and things that provide comfort. This could be alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, chocolate, exercise, sex, and affection from a family member, partner or stranger. We all have experienced various spouts of addictive behavior. Some have experienced mild, shorter-termed addictions that are not detrimental to their lives in contrast to others whose life goals have been compromised. Some addictions are positive outlets, such as exercise.  Too much over-indulgence in any activity is habit-forming and could have repercussions. Many of us become aware of our pathway to self-destruction and nip it in the bud before it is too impactful on our lives. Some are unable to do so without seeking out help.

Addictive to attention is not necessarily a bad thing as long it is sought through healthy avenues. As humans we naturally seek approval and desire from the opposite sex. Consistently modifying your way of life to gain that rush of intimacy is counterproductive to your inner happiness and eventually leads to self-destruction.

Are You Addicted to Attention? Have You Compromised Your Standards and Goals, To Seek Attention From The Opposite Sex?

Takeaways from Season Premiere of “Being Mary Jane” Playa Playa, TMI and Scandal

The season premiere of “Being Mary Jane” aired on BET January 7th, 2014 Tuesday evening. Mary Jane played by actress Gabrielle Union is a news anchor who is successful, independent and a “single black female” searching for love. From watching the premiere, I am definitely looking forward to the next episode. The episode oozes juicy from beginning to end. Continue reading Takeaways from Season Premiere of “Being Mary Jane” Playa Playa, TMI and Scandal

Auditioning For The Wifey Role? What Would You Put Up With?

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Photo Source: http://www.TMZ.com

There has been much chatter over social media lately regarding personal opinions of recent decisions made by two women to stay with their uber-celebrity mates despite recent news of these men fathering love-children, referring to the Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade and Ludacris and girlfriend Eudoxie situations. Both women remain committed to their men despite their promiscuity missteps. There have been conflicting reports on whether there was an actual relationship hiatus when the offspring were conceived. These events bring to light the celebrity lifestyle of male rappers and professional basketball players. Is it possible for men who are pressured with such temptation from groupies to exhibit monogamy? The discussions and opinions on whether these two women (Gabby and Eudoxie) should stay or leave their mate are endless. It begs me to ask: To attain the “Wifey” role with someone should you have to put up with all of that? Would a Man “Put a Ring On It” if I also took a brief break and became impregnated by my “In Case of Emergency, Break Glass” Sidepiece? I think not. Continue reading Auditioning For The Wifey Role? What Would You Put Up With?

Open Letter to Gabby Union: Yours Truly Dwayne Wade’s Baby Mama

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All right…now this is a bit trifling. Apparently according to Blacksportsonline, Dwayne Wade’s new baby mother Aja Metoyer apparently wrote a letter back in February addressing her affair with Dwayne Wade. Now I know my earlier post was defending relationship breaks….but only if it is a true break away from the relationship mutually agreed upon by both parties. Blacksportsonline shared an excerpt from part of the open letter addressed to Gabrielle Union:

So it’s only right I put Dwyane Wade on blast. First and foremost i’d like to thank ***** Wade, his cousin for booking my numerous of flights. 

Ohh yea, hi Ms. Union. Good too see you stuck around and have a few more pieces of clothing inside of his house. The kitchen looks great by the way. I love the new counter tops. I would also like to thank Rich, the chef for his amazing breakfast. His cookies are the best. 

And last but not least I’d like to thank Dwayne for always making me feel comfortable on your side of the bed. Hiding pictures in your drawer. You know the night stand next to your side of the bed, the one with the two drawers. Think the picture is the one with you and Sanaa Lathan in it. 

Also Gabrielle you are a little to old to be making Valentines day Photo albums. Leave that to the young girls your man cheats on you with. Dont believe me, I took a picture of the picture. 

FYI your man likes fat asses you might need to get you one. Last but not least. I will send you a picture of the bags your man left in the hotel room i f*cked him in. lol 

Read more at http://blacksportsonline.com/home/2013/12/d-wades-new-baby-mama-wrote-letter-to-gabby-union-about-affair-in-feb/#kAYI7H2UuMKTMWE4.99

MY INSIGHTS

The letter is classless and disrespectful. What man would take a woman seriously that is spiteful and would send such a letter to your woman or ex for that matter. Doesn’t she know that woman is going to confront her man or ex-man of this and the only one who is going to look immature is her.

Sounds like from the contents of the letter, that Dwayne Wade and Gabby Union were not having  that long of a relationship break if Dwayne has pictures still up by his bedside. But that is not for me to judge.

The message is to all of the side chicks out there….if you do want a chance of being the number one chick….a letter to your dude’s ex is not going to help you up those ranks. That letter was probably the realization point that he needs to get rid of this trash and return to his treasure.

 

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As Published on Joint Interest Digital Magazine: First Dwayne Wade…Now Ludacris Fathering A Lovechild

Please read my contributing article as published on Joint Interest: Upload 2 The New Connected World Digital Magazine. Also sign up for weekly updates and look out for future contributing articles as well. This is the condensed version than the original published yesterday!

First Dwayne Wade…Now Ludacris Fathering A Lovechild

ludacris-and-eudoxiePhoto source: www.xxlmag.com

Okay there has been more than enough buzz since the media found out that basketball player Dwayne Wade fathered a child (now three-month old) with Aja Metoyer (alleged known Groupie- a woman who has persistent relationships with celebrities) during a break from his long-term intimate relationship with his new fiancee, actress Gabrielle Union. Now it turns out Ludacris also fathered a child while on a temporary hiatus from longtime girlfriend Eudoxie. Apparently, the child was born early December and is approximately one-month old.

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Photo source: www.eonline.com

My Insights

When two people decide to take a break from a relationship whether temporary or permanent….they are entitled to live their lives as a single woman or man. Meaning, in my opinion entitled and free to do as they please.  Two individuals wanting a break means they are not ready to pursue a relationship or move forward the already established relationship they have with each other. While on hiatus, the ex boyfriend or girlfriend may seek sexual and emotional satisfaction from someone else. This is not infidelity, vows have not been shared. A serious or not so serious connection can be established with another woman or man. While Dwayne Wade and Ludacris may need a lesson or two on safe sex practices, engaging in sexual intimacy while separated from their girlfriend/fiancée is not wrong. Sometimes engaged in other relationships while separate from your ex-boo allows you to appreciate the relationship and qualities you and your ex-boo shared and possesses.

In some cases two people drift back to each other rekindling their deep emotional bond as more mature adults. This could be after months of partying, focusing on career, or just getting all of the single’itis out of their system. Gabby and Dwayne…..discussed their break from each other and Dwayne’s mistake that led to a precious treasure.  She has accepted her man despite his flaws and the new addition to their future family. She is all good…and content with her bling bling. The same can be said for Eudoxie. As the two were seen together happy as they shared in the New Year together.

Hey, not everyone can have the sequentially desired mating lifestyle. Boy meets girl, date, get engaged, married then have offspring. Love is blind. Sometimes, there are kids from other baby mommies and daddies….including while you are on relationship break from your mate.

What Are Your Thoughts? Would You Rekindle A Relationship With An Ex Despite Him Fathering A Child With Another Woman or Having A Child With Another Man?

First Dwayne Wade…Now Ludacris Fathering Lovechild During A Relationship Hiatus- My Insights

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Photo source: http://www.xxlmag.com

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Photo Source: http://www.eonlinenews.com

Okay there has been more than enough buzz since the media found out that basketball player Dwayne Wade fathered a child (now three-month old) with Aja Metoyer (alleged known Groupie- a woman who has persistent relationships with celebrities) during a break from his long-term intimate relationship with his new fiancee, actress Gabrielle Union. Now it turns out Ludacris also fathered a child while on a temporary hiatus from longtime girlfriend Eudoxie. Apparently, the child was born early December and is approximately one-month old.

My Insights

When two people decide to take a break from a relationship whether temporary or permanent….they are entitled to live their lives as a single woman or man. Meaning, in my opinion entitled and free to do as they please.  Two individuals wanting a break means they are not ready to pursue a relationship or move forward the already established relationship they have with each other. While on hiatus, the ex boyfriend or girlfriend may seek sexual and emotional satisfaction from someone else. This is not infidelity, vows have not been shared. A serious or not so serious connection can be established with another woman or man. While Dwayne Wade and Ludacris may need a lesson or two on safe sex practices, engaging in sexual intimacy while separated from their girlfriend/fiancée is not wrong. Sometimes engaged in other relationships while separate from your ex-boo allows you to appreciate the relationship and qualities you and your ex-boo shared and possesses.

In some cases two people drift back to each other rekindling their deep emotional bond as more mature adults. This could be after months of partying, focusing on career, or just getting all of the single’itis out of their system. Gabby and Dwayne…..discussed their break from each other and Dwayne’s mistake that led to a precious treasure.  She has accepted her man despite his flaws and the new addition to their future family. She is all good…and content with her bling bling. The same can be said for Eudoxie. As the two were seen together happy as they shared in the New Year together.

Hey, not everyone can have the sequentially desired mating lifestyle. Boy meets girl, date, get engaged, married then have offspring. Love is blind. Sometimes, there are kids from other baby mommies and daddies….including while you are on relationship break from your mate.

What Are Your Thoughts? Would You Rekindle A Relationship With An Ex Despite Him Fathering A Child With Another Woman or Having A Child With Another Man?