Tag Archives: Kim Kardashian

Is Happily Ever After Extinct? Trouble In Paradise With Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon!

Is Happily Ever After Extinct?

The Generation X and Y’s admire our grandparents for having lasting marriages in excess of 50 plus years. But it is quite dense as we look at our peers for examples of strong marriages. Continue reading Is Happily Ever After Extinct? Trouble In Paradise With Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon!

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As Published on Joint Interest Digital Magazine: The Best Man Holiday Movie Insight: Should A Woman’s Intimate Past Affect Her Pursuit for a Loving Relationship?

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Photo: http://www.necolebitchie.com

The highly anticipated The Best Man Holiday opened this weekend, and I must say, it is indeed a must-see! I will not give the movie away, for those who have not yet seen it, but I had to reflect on the movie and the The Best Man prequel after this weekend. In the prequel, you recall that Julian (Harold Perrineau), fell in love with Candace or “Candy” (Regina Hall), the exotic dancer at Lance’s (Morris Chestnut) bachelor party. In the sequel, the two are married with children, but an unusual turn of events forces Julian to revisit his wife’s former lifestyle. While watching the movie, I thought to myself, “Are the men that I know — the “Buppie” black urban professional career men — willing to look past a woman’s former lifestyle? Would a man accept me or my girlfriends even if they did not approve of a former occupation, past relationship or action I committed? Could they love me knowing I was a former exotic dancer, an escort, incurred a bad reputation for being involved with the wrong men and/or an explicit sex tape that was accidentally released?

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Photo: newscififangirl.wordpress.com

Many men often cite how they seek to attain a classy woman, a “lady,” someone who is motherly, supportive and caring. They want a woman who represents herself well and is respected by her peers and community — with one caveat: the woman also has to be a “freak” behind closed doors. Men that I know consistently express how they do not want other men knowing his woman’s secrets that are shared intimately between the two of them. They steer away from pursuing marriage with women who have notorious reputations of romping around with other men.

best-man-holidayPhoto: http://www.ctpost.com

At present, an inequality in views of past actions by gender among peers, community and the media still exist. Men are placed on a pedestal for sleeping with multiple women and are excused for testing the waters. We give them the benefit of the doubt.  We justify their actions because it is learned that men suffer from a high sex drive, are judged by their experience or lack thereof with the opposite sex. In fact, doesn’t history and certain cultures allow men to wed multiple wives? The “Big Love” lifestyle is intriguing.

On the other hand, women who express their sexual curiosities are categorized as whores. Women who have used poor judgement and fell for men who chose to exploit them via sharing their intimate moments to the public are viewed as promiscuous and dense. How many times does the media discuss how Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian attained celebrity status through their notorious “sex tapes” and how society is quick to judge their young adult mistakes?

The “pimp” lifestyle is what many men seek to gain, and a pound to the hand is given by their boys when they share they are casually dating more than one woman. In contrast, women who choose to date more than one man are classified as “fast.” We shun the woman who chose to attain money in a difficult economy to pay for college, feed her children, pay for housing by seeking occupation in one of the most demanding and easily attainable careers for women. The exotic dancer, escort, music video model, or a model for adult men magazines occupations are high in request in the obsessively visual entertainment industry. Shouldn’t these women have a chance to start fresh in a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with a man without being judged?

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Photo: www.thelmagazine.com

My view is that despite your past choices, whether it was a mistake, an act of survival or you were just embracing your sexual freedom, at present you are the wonderful woman that your man or potential mate will meet. Your sexual past is your past – let it stay there.  Your lifestyle as a dancer, escort or just a woman who made “bad decisions” does not affect your genuine love and affection for your man. Past experiences provide wisdom and strength but do not represent your character at present. We learn from our actions. Yes, one can argue that women made choices to delve in certain lifestyles, but so do our male counterparts. We let men be themselves and explore, yet we accept them when they are ready to settle and become a caring and considerate man to a woman. Shouldn’t women be given the same opportunity?

Film Review The Best Man HolidayPhoto: www.crescent-news.com

I say be open-minded, love your woman, understand her past and embrace her at present. Usually, there is more to her story than what her past portrays. The Best Man Holiday provides an exemplary example of a professional and confident man who endures challenges in facing his wife’s past. Yet, he chooses to love and accept his wife despite her past indiscretions.

What are your thoughts? Do you think Julian was right for accepting Candace’s past lifestyle? Should our cosmopolitan man be accepting of a woman as what she represents currently or should he consider her past intimate choices in choosing a mate? If considered, does he owe it to himself and the woman to rationalize the basis for her past decisions?

As Published on Joint Interest Digital Magazine: Kanye Kim vs Jay-Z Beyonce…The Next Power Couple Goes To….

Please read my contributing article as published on Joint Interest: Upload 2 The New Connected World Digital Magazine. Also sign up for weekly updates and look out for future contributing articles as well.

http://www.jointinterest.com/2013/11/kanye-kim-vs-jay-z-beyonce-next-power-couple-goes/

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Photo: CHRISTOPHER POLK/GETTY IMAGES FOR BET

According to RadarOnline… Kanye believes that Kim and himself will be the biggest power couple on the planet and will take the reign away from Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Hmmm….According to media sources, Kanye has began to direct Kim on how to present herself in the spotlight and social platforms.  It has been cited that Kanye urged Kim to dye her hair blonde to make her into an international success. Beyonce has always been careful with her perception in the media and is selective on how she is publicized to the world. So now Kanye is directing Kim to follow suit.

Personally, I do not understand why this would be headline news…but everything lately that comes from Kanye has become a national discussion. So this too is newsworthy. When thinking about this, I had to consider what is a power couple? Is there anyone else in the public spotlight that I would consider a power couple? Actually, there are a few in the African America community…from the hollywood power couple Will and Jada to Barack and Michelle. I wonder if Kanye aims to outshine them as well?

A power couple to me is someone that is doing a bang-up job in solidifying their brand as a couple. It represents two people who are genuine in their love, cherish each other, their children and support each other’s endeavors. The wife and husband aim to improve the other person’s aura and as one, they reflect a positive example to everyone. To strive to be the most powerful couple on the planet I don’t think that is in the definition. I really don’t think true power couples strive for that title and are unaware they exemplify that to others. They become aware as they lead their lives in a positive manner as that is who they are at the core…and it is recognized by others. I wonder if Kanye is aware of that definition?

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Jay-Z and Beyonce embody what I believe to be a power couple. Both individuals were successful on their own right, came together and over time nurtured their relationship and each other. By them being right with their love of each other at the core, they manifested this successful example and empire that has shined positively on the hip hop culture. However, this was not created overnight and was a gradual process. It was not forced.

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Photo: www.usmagazine.com

I don’t doubt Kanye’s love for Kim is not real or her love for him. I do think over time they can establish themselves as a “power couple.” But to aspire to be that couple over someone else makes the intent of the word “power” in “power couple” convoluted. The mix of greed, jealousy and outside approval can poison the purity of developing a sustaining relationship. Thus, diverge the couple into a spiral of mess.

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Well let the battle begin! Why maybe Kanye and Kim are successful in creating headlines for now…when the media’s interest ceases…will the love that they have for each other terminate too?

What do you think? Does Kanye and Kim have what it takes to be the next power couple? Will they replace Jay-Z and Bey as the new power couple in hip hop?