A few days ago I shared an article that was posted on EliteDaily.com Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single“ I had a personal connection and resonated with the author’s tone in her article. I deem myself as intelligent, independent and strong. While warm-spirited and fun-loving and uninhibited to life’s offerings, all characteristics that gents initially love about me, I am Continue reading The Alpha Woman’s Struggle!
The other day I read this quick read book titled “Flag On The Play- A Woman’s Guide To Finding Mr. Right In A World Full Of Right Nows” written by Dena Reid Esq. with Mandee Burgess who is also one of the creators of the social website CodeRedFlag.com. I truly thought it was a great quick read, insightful and allowed me to reminiscence on certain signs I have encountered through my dating life that I fell for or my girlfriends have in the past and present and caution me on certain actions from prospective gents. The book provides thorough analysis of several real-life scenarios where the author and reader point out signs from the gent’s actions that indicate he may not be “Keeper Material”
The book breaks down 10 characters a woman should avoid:
1) Mr. Hudson River Valley: Separated Means Married– Whoa! I seem to run in these guys everywhere. I remember meeting a guy who was going through a divorce in my mid-20’s..I didn’t know where Continue reading “Flag On The Play” Book Review and Introduction To The Type Of Mr. Right Nows To Avoid- My Insights!
As the one-year anniversary approaches to the Judge’s final consent to officially end my seven-year plus marriage….I can’t help to reflect on what a whirlwind year it has been. My temperament and experiences varied from exhilarating to at times feeling depressed. Taking a step back and studying my behavior from last summer until now… I can break out this past year in different behavioral patterns. The phase of healing from the love and union of my marriage was predominately experienced from my divorce decision to the end of the filing process. The progression in the past year can be broken into 4 distinct phases- Embracing Independence, Desperation in Not Being a Perpetual Single Divorcee, Lonely and Reclusive Period, and Embracing Reality and Loving Me Phase.
So I have further ventured out in online dating. A few days ago I signed up for OKCupid! a free online dating site. Prior to that I was only using one source for the past couple months eHarmony- a paid online dating site.
A co-worker who was divorced recommended me to try online dating and thought eHarmony would be good. Her stance was that she met her second husband there, and thought the selection of mates were reputable. Basically, men willing to pay for an online service, weeds out the gents that are on there for just games. Continue reading OK Cupid! Optimism in Online Dating!
A couple of years ago I met a wonderful individual. That person has always been a true objective friend as I battled through my decision of getting a divorce, the process and aftermath. He has been supportive of my search for independence as a single mother and happily divorcee. He always encourages me to “Do What Makes Me Happy” Continue reading Do What Makes You Happy: The Agreement!
According to People.com, George Clooney is retiring from the bachelor life. George Clooney and girlfriend, accomplished British attorney Amal Alamuddin are engaged. Sources confirmed that the pair were spotted with friends where Amal was sporting a pretty nice rock on her left ring finger. Amal is 36 years old and George is 52 years old. Continue reading America’s Perpetual Bachelor-George Clooney is Engaged? Say What?
“Don’t Expect Much! As When You Do….Expect To Be Disappointed.
I ask myself should this be the new mantra in dating? Now I know all
I have entered the world of online dating and amped up my social gathering appointments recently, following a brief winter break. I will say it is true getting out there in the New York metropolitan social scene results in a higher return of meeting new prospects. Not just Continue reading The Dating Funnel: Mingle, Mingle Equals Dates, and More Dates Then Exclusivity!
Daily I walk around my small, picturesque town with a thought bubble over my head: “Person Going Through A Divorce.” When I look at other people, I automatically form thought bubbles over their heads. “Happy Couple With Stroller.” “Innocent Teenage Girl With Her Whole Life Ahead Of Her” . . . “Young Kids Kissing Publicly.” Then every so often I see one like me, one of the shambling gaunt women without makeup, looking older than she is: “Divorcing Woman Wondering How The Fuck This Happened.”
–Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce
I often wonder when perusing through the streets alone with eyes smothered with running mascara after a frustrating day, or a face full of anxiety while holding each of my children’s hands rushing to their schools in the morning aiming to make it to work on time, that people also categorize me and label my “bubble” on my head as a “Divorced Woman On The Brink Of A Break-Down”. When deciding to end your marriage and starting over, you anticipate adversity, however you plan and believe it is manageable and there is a means to an end. But at times it seems you are always running making sure you cover all bases, meet deadlines, aim for happy smiles on your children’s faces, but something is always missed. Periods of being overwhelmed is an understatement. The mountain that your climbing keeps appearing taller and taller as each day goes by. You are aiming to re-build your life, find inner-happiness and create a fulfilling foundation that your children can call home. However, chaos is your life….every place you perch symbolizes confusion. Unorganized work desk of mounting deadlines, a bottom-less overflowing laundry basket that never is a 100% empty despite the numerous of loads you put in the wash, toys astray on the living room floor despite efforts of picking up all the doll house furniture, crayons, playing cards and toy-airplanes the other day, escalating bills which 10% are still addressed to your former spouse. There is not much time for self grooming let alone pampering, a day at the hair and nail salon…maybe next weekend there will be time. That balanced routine you aim at mastering all on your own seems an incredible task to accomplish.
However, these battle wounds and struggles are signs of strength and perseverance. I have not yet threw in the towel and say “Screw It”. Divorce is not easy. Piloting the co-parenting situation is exhausting as well as managing your career, maintaining your house and living independently. Yes, everything can be fucking overwhelming! But the journey in becoming a “Happily Me” is well worth the battle! So why the bubble over my head can be “Puzzled Divorced Woman Trying To Figure It All Out” it will eventually transcend to “Happily Divorcee Doing Her Thang”
Followers: If You Enjoyed Reading This Post, Please Share! We Are A Growing Community! Thank You For Reading!
Are You Dealing with Damaged Goods? Time to Clean Out and Dispose! Let them fix themselves on their own. Until then Let Life Flow! Enjoy new beginnings and know your worth!