Tag Archives: men

Know The Facts: 7 Sad-But-True Reasons He’s Going To Cheat On You

The topic of men and fidelity has been a topic I have been thinking a lot about lately…. The Main Chick vs. Side Chick Phenom is glaring in our faces through social media and entertainment outlets.  In the courting/dating stage, habits of the way men approach dating, tend not to wane until the engagement, make one or two a priority and have a couple of side chicks to call upon. I thought this article from YourTango.com was very insightful. Nothing that I was not aware of before, but organized in a great way to really put the whole Men and Fidelity into perspective. In a nutshell, A Man Is As Faithful As His Options. Beware of that Dreamy Charming Guy “The Hunter and Gatherer” make sure he has strength against temptation, while he may have good intentions there are always someone to test him. However, it goes both way for us women…but the reasons a woman cheats is very different from a man. Well enjoy!

Continue reading Know The Facts: 7 Sad-But-True Reasons He’s Going To Cheat On You

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Is This You? 10 Personality Types Who Struggle To Find True Love

Interesting article on YourTango.com! I was able to identify with a few of these personality types. There are a few traits I will admit I aim to still  improve upon while other traits were  short-lived insecurities that followed a not-so-great break-up that I eventually overcame. Enjoy! 

Continue reading Is This You? 10 Personality Types Who Struggle To Find True Love

10 Reasons He Married You When He Wasn’t IN Love With You!

This article is pretty deep, disturbing but very real. Women and Men please read! Marry because you are “In Love” please “Do Not Settle” nor “Try to Force It Upon Your Partner”- maybe your partner’s timing doesn’t match or really does not want to marry you. In the end there is just regret and lost time. Take heed in staying in a relationship because you feel you put in the time and it is familiar but you know you and your partner is not really thrilled.  I truly believe over half of the marriages that exist today is because either the Woman or Man settled and are not with their soul mates. I get it no one wants to be alone in the long run. If you choose to settle for someone that is not your soul mate, for stability and reliability, no judgment from here. However, as a Divorcee and speaking to other Divorcees, the second time around we are looking for true chemistry that is sustainable. We are not settling and making the same mistakes we made the first time around. Enjoy this article from YourTango.com

Continue reading 10 Reasons He Married You When He Wasn’t IN Love With You!

15 Men On What They Wished Every Woman Knew About Relationships

I think this article from ThoughtCatalog sheds light on all the misconceptions women have on men. Sometimes we read too much in their inactions and draw to premature conclusions. I do this, especially #15 regarding e-communications. Enjoy!

1. Make both people happy.

Don’t make rules, make agreements.

2. It’s important to be affectionate.

Enjoy each other and express your joy. Couples that stay together have a much higher ratio of little happy moments in their day (saying hello, kisses, a touch on a shoulder, a smile, a compliment) vs unhappy moments compared to couples that don’t stay together. Plus it’s just nice.

3. Don’t go to bed angry.

Do not go to bed angry.

When I first wanted to get married, my relationship was not perfect and I set out to fix it the best that I could. The first thing that I learned is that is perfectly acceptable to go to bed angry.

Two people trying to resolve a disagreement when they are tired and irritable is more likely to make things worse. People think more clearly when they have had rest. In fact, sometimes going to sleep is just the thing you need to take care of an argument. The likelihood that you will still be upset when you wake up is very slim and you can talk with your partner more rationally when you need to instead of trying to force an ultimatum before bed time approaches.

4. Remember these four things.

1. If a guy hasn’t asked you out, it doesn’t mean he’s not interested. There are a ton of reasons a guy might be unable to ask you out; usually he simply doesn’t know if his interest is reciprocated. If you’re perfectly happy with the dating life and relationships you’re getting by sitting back and letting the guy make the moves then by all means keep doing what’s working, but if you’re not you should understand that asking out a guy is a valid option. Also, don’t get one or two rejections and decide asking guys out doesn’t work. A guy can’t do the same and then decide asking girls out doesn’t work.

2. Don’t ever think that most guys are just interested in casual sex and there’s a shortage of guys interested in relationships. Many women get this misconception because they only consider the guys who can effortlessly approach and seduce them at bars, when it’s more likely to be your shy friend who’s afraid to ask you out who’s interested in a relationship. It’s fine if you don’t find them attractive, but don’t think guys interested in a relationship are rare.

3. If you find yourself dating a lot of guys who turn out to be assholes, don’t ask yourself why assholes are attracted to you but instead ask yourself why you’re attracted to assholes.

4. It’s perfectly fine to have casual sex if you want, but you can never think that you can use sex to get a guy to want a relationship if he doesn’t want one. If you’re going to get hurt if the casual sex doesn’t turn into something more, you probably shouldn’t be having it.

5. Men are humans too.

Men are people who have the same feelings and emotions as you do. We’re just less likely to show our emotions. A lot of women are baffled by this, thinking “just open up! I like it when guys open up with their emotions!”, but it can be tricky to do as a man. Tons of guys have experiences doing so and finding that the woman’s lost her interest, because when a large part of your sexual attractiveness comes from your strength and confidence, exposing the fact that you’re not as strong and confident as she thought can certainly have a bad effect if done improperly.

6. How unhappy hook ups begin.

If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, having sex with him will not change his mind.

7. If you have to settle…

A great piece of advice is that if you have to settle, settle on someone who’s less attractive than you’d prefer. Never settle on someone who treats you as someone below them, and this applies to both men and women.

8. Talk is cheap.

His actions speak louder than his words. If he treats you badly, no amount of “I love you”s should make a difference.

9. Men aren’t gifted with ESP.

You have to make your expectations clear. Few things are more frustrating than a partner who is feeling angry or unfulfilled because their SO didn’t do something that was only hinted at in a roundabout manner.

10. Learn how to be emotionally intelligent.

Tell me what you want, not what’s wrong.

In other words, develop what could be termed emotional intelligence: that ability to identify, assess, and be the commander of ones emotions. In my experience, it is 10 times more important than IQ and looks.

I don’t mind strong emotion. I just have no patience any more for blame, accusations, or “stacking” (bringing up the past), or being expected to be a mind reader.

Tell me what you want, not what’s wrong. You’ll be amazed at how responsive I’ll be and get you want you want.

Just. Stop. Complaining.

11. Don’t let anger make you treat him badly.

The best relationship advice I ever got was: Never treat your s/o worse than you would a complete stranger. If you care enough about how a stranger perceives you to alter your words or actions, then you should care much more about your s/o’s opinion and adjust accordingly.

12. Communicate.

Talk. Talk about how you feel. Talk about what you want. Talk about what he wants. Talk about everything.

If you keep the lines of discussion open and honest, then there will never be nasty surprises.

13. Don’t have a big ego.

You are not a precious flower that a man is tasked with fostering. Be accountable for continually growing and try to be the best version of you that you can be. Alternately, it is not your job to take care of a man. You are both adults who choose to be together. This should mean that you each bring something valuable to the table (many things really). Your relationship should beneficial to both parties.

Be friends. If you can’t talk about everything and work through difficulties as friends, you stand no chance of making it as a couple.

14. Don’t expect a man to be your everything.

dont treat your boyfriend like he is God. Meaning, dont act like he has all the answers to your life and then get mad when he doesnt.

15. Don’t read too much into e-communications.

Lastly, our texts or internet IM’s are terrible indicators of expression. A lot of people resort to “lol” and emoticons as a way to lesson the tension of our words because they can come off as being insensitive or mean. Please don’t assume we are angry through are words.

Thought Catalog

Compiled from this AskReddit thread.

ShutterstockShutterstock

1. Make both people happy.

Don’t make rules, make agreements.

2. It’s important to be affectionate.

Enjoy each other and express your joy. Couples that stay together have a much higher ratio of little happy moments in their day (saying hello, kisses, a touch on a shoulder, a smile, a compliment) vs unhappy moments compared to couples that don’t stay together. Plus it’s just nice.

3. Don’t go to bed angry.

Do not go to bed angry.

When I first wanted to get married, my relationship was not perfect and I set out to fix it the best that I could. The first thing that I learned is that is perfectly acceptable to go to bed angry.

Two people trying to resolve a disagreement when they are tired and irritable is more likely to make things worse. People think more clearly when they…

View original post 1,032 more words

These Heauxs Ain’t Loyal! Really?

There is much discussion on R&B/ Pop singer Chris Brown’s popular song “These Hoes Ain’t Loyal! Many men praise the song and women scowl at the chorus.  Chris Brown’s catchy song basically insinuates that a woman would leave a broke man for a rich man who wants her as depicted in the video below.

Warning: Explicit language

Continue reading These Heauxs Ain’t Loyal! Really?

Does The Way A Man Cope With Stress- Determine Whether He Is A Keeper? A Few Red Flags!

 

Having a bit of experience in dating as a professional, thirty-something divorcee, there are certain attributes I look out for. One attribute is the way a man deals with their own issues and the role that I play in it. This allows me to understand his emotional strength and how he sees me in his life. Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs personal space to deal with the curve balls life sometimes throws at us. Continue reading Does The Way A Man Cope With Stress- Determine Whether He Is A Keeper? A Few Red Flags!

13 Ways You Know You’re Dating A Grown-Ass Man

I thought this was a great quick read. It is accurate and to the point.

1. You know where you stand. You are his girlfriend or you are a girl he’s dating but either way he’s not scared to define it. He’s not afraid that a girl will cry and run away if she doesn’t hear what she wants to, he wants a mature woman because he is a mature man.

2. You don’t have to prod him to become a real adult. He’s self motivated to improve on his own. If there’s an area of his life that needs improvement, he’s working on it long before you notice it.

3. Texting with him is peaceful. Sometimes you have conversations. Sometimes you make plans. But it’s never a power struggle of who initiates and who texts lasts. It’s not fishing for compliments or security. It’s simply a short form of communication.

4. He calls his mom. You don’t need to tell him to do this and he does it to keep in touch, not because he needs her stamp of approval on all his choices.

5. He has interests. Like actual interests. Not beer darts or meeting women. He reads the newspaper or books, and when you ask him his opinion on something, he has an answer.

6. When you spend the night at his place, it doesn’t feel like camping. His sheets are (reasonably) clean, there’s (gasp) toilet paper and (double gasp) fresh towels in the bathroom, and there’s something in the fridge other than beer.

7. He doesn’t disappear for days or a week at a time. He knows that if he needs space or some time to clear his head when he’s stressed out all he needs to do is say that. He’s strong enough to be upfront rather than running away.

8. He never says “just trust me” as an attempt to end a disagreement. He knows that if you’re expressing a concern, the solution isn’t to just tell you not to have it. He isn’t manipulative.

9. He doesn’t get jealous. Sure, it doesn’t make him happy when another guy hits on you while he’s checking your coats, but he doesn’t blow up about it. He’s secure in your admiration.

10. He doesn’t treat you like a child. If he disagrees with you he can tell you that. He assumes you want to engage with him rather than assuming you are a piece of glass that will shatter at the slightest disturbance.

11. He encourages you to grow and try new activities. He isn’t afraid he will be left in the dust and he genuinely wants the best for you.

12. You never have this conversation: “Where do you want to go?” “Uh, I don’t know, where do you want to go?”

13. You don’t have to play a guessing game when he’s upset about something. He tells you. Directly. With words. And you have a conversation and figure out a solution. TC mark

Thought Catalog

Grey's AnatomyGrey’s Anatomy

1. You know where you stand. You are his girlfriend or you are a girl he’s dating but either way he’s not scared to define it. He’s not afraid that a girl will cry and run away if she doesn’t hear what she wants to, he wants a mature woman because he is a mature man.

2. You don’t have to prod him to become a real adult. He’s self motivated to improve on his own. If there’s an area of his life that needs improvement, he’s working on it long before you notice it.

3. Texting with him is peaceful. Sometimes you have conversations. Sometimes you make plans. But it’s never a power struggle of who initiates and who texts lasts. It’s not fishing for compliments or security. It’s simply a short form of communication.

4. He calls his mom. You don’t need to tell him to…

View original post 347 more words

Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others by John T. Molloy

For all my single ladies and knowledge for the men who like to know thy self: This is a reblog! I thought this thought-piece based on empirical study was insightful and truthful. It commensurates with my relationship experiences including meeting, dating, and marriage. The age demographic is accurate, woman speaking up about what makes them happy is also true and the qualities men seek out in a women is a clear depiction from my own experiences. Enjoy!

Damaged Goods…Ruined or Fixable?

Are You Dealing with Damaged Goods? Time to Clean Out and Dispose! Let them fix themselves on their own. Until then Let Life Flow! Enjoy new beginnings and know your worth!

Damaged Goods…Ruined or Fixable?.