Can a Meaningful Relationship Thrive from a One-Night Stand?

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Scene:

You and your girlfriends are at a club enjoying the DJ beats. You separate yourself from your crew and begin to strut all your goodness to the bar to purchase a cocktail. A gent approaches you and ask your vitals: name, status, and whereabout in New York City Metro area you reside. Both of you are physically attracted to each other. He offers to buy you that Ciroc Amaretto on the rocks you were about to splurge on yourself.  You graciously accept. Both of you continue to engage in small talk. The DJ begins to turn up the music. That handsome gent that has his eyes fixated on you takes your hand and walks you away from the bar close to the DJ. Your hips begin to swerve in your tight mini-dress as he checks you out with your hand-held in his. The guy maintains an arm’s-length distance. However, eyes are pierced on your hips and how they move so well to the tunes.

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You become more comfortable, your buttox and hips now begin to caress his paints as they percolate to the beat. Not standing out as other couples are also twerking to the beat. His hands become more comfortable in caressing your silhouette. His strong hands feel soothing to your skin and him palming your rear just nicely in your mini-skirt gives you the chills. You are intertwined in a grind fest on the dance floor.

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The questions begin to divert on the plans to get home. He mentions how he drove to the venue and offers to take you home. You let him know you don’t think so and you both return to the dance floor. The dancing between you two resumes its hot and heavy pace. You are re-thinking that offer, his closeness feels so comfortable. You acknowledge that there is definitely great sexual chemistry between the two of you. You don’t want the moment to cease. You agree to allow him to take you home. In the car, he can’t keep his hands off of you. Kisses are exchanged. You agree to go to his place. Despite his addiction to getting close with you he is a complete gentleman. He assures you that he digs your entire vibe. Your feelings are mutual. Upon arriving at his place, you seal the deal.

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The next morning, both decide to go for Round 2 and share in breakfast before he drops you off at home.

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Prior to leaving, you ask if you both will remain in contact. He comforts you and says Yes. You begin the walk of shame to the car door and he drops you off to your place.

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You really like this guy and now begin to fret and wonder if you blew it because you gave up the goods too quickly. You hope the guy realize that is not how you normally roll and that you were just so into him, you couldn’t resist. Could something meaningful come from this, you ask yourself. You conclude in your mind that it can, you two are both mature adults.

My Perspective:

Pros:

It is all about perception. If the guy is a true gentleman and perceived you as a classy woman when he met you….he probably still does. He does not romp around with anyone himself. He likely felt the same chemistry as you did. Plus if the loving was great, the man will likely return for another round. As a woman, you know your own judgment of character. There was something that made him the exception to the rule. Thus a budding relationship from your one night freak-fest is possible.

Cons:

Both of you enjoyed each other’s, which will likely prompt seeing each other again. However, what really did you learn of each other beyond sex, that make the two of you compatible as a couple? The next date you will likely enjoy.. But if you are in the market in looking for a husband, you could not possibly know that the man you are romping around possesses all of the qualities that you aspire in your future mate. Likewise for him. So while subsequent dates may happen, it may be short-lived. Exclusivity status may not be achieved. He may be dating two or three other chicks and getting to know them the same way he is with you. Or you may just get caught up in the wonderful sex and realize that this guy is not as great as you thought. Not husband material.

Jury Still Out!

Waiting two or three dates or the “famous” Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule may result in the same outcome. In dating, there is nothing guaranteed. Two people are getting to know each other. Having a one-night stand with an awesome guy that leads to a great dating journey but not a happy ending is okay. We all learn our lessons. There is a risk that a relationship may not thrive from any first encounter with someone. Think of the numbers you exchange when stepping out. How many result in follow-up calls, dates and relationships? While sexual intimacy may definitely get you the follow-up call and subsequent date it may not lead to exclusivity in a relationship. So preserve your goodies until at least you know the guy is looking for something serious and not just out enjoying the dating circuit. On the contrary, there are many lasting relationships and marriages that thrived from the infamous one-night stand. It is all about the person’s state and present focus in life. If you could learn that over a few cocktails and dances, then press on.

What are your thoughts? Have you been able to have a sustainable relationship after a one-night romp?