Tag Archives: people

We’re Better Friends: Kris Jenner Talks Relationship With Bruce Post-Separation

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Photo Source: people.com

According to People.com, Kris Jenner said that since the separation from estranged husband Bruce Jenner  hew relationship with him has improved. This was discussed during an interview at the #cirocthenewyear anti-drinking and driving pledge party. She cited about her separation:  “We’re Great. He’s great and I’m great. We are such good friends. Sometimes people are just better apart and have better energy.” She also mentions that there is no talk of divorce, but the two of them are getting along better since separation. She also states “We don’t bicker as much. We were starting to sound like some old sitcom from the 50’s. I listened to myself and didn’t like me. Everyone is happier.”

My Insights on My Relationship With Ex-Husband

I can absolutely relate to Kris’s comments. When reflecting on my current relationship with my ex-husband, I can say we get along better now our marriage is over. We have established a great co-parenting relationship and friendship. We accepted each other’s quirks and differences. We agreed to disagree and do not have to deal with each other different points of views anymore. There is nothing driving each other crazy. The arguments and debates are minimal.

While married, I did not like who I was becoming. I would become frustrated easily over every small matter, masking over the bigger issues in our marriage. The whole household would feel the effects of my mood swings. The cool down-to-earth chick that I was known for was evolving into a spiteful shrew. When a situation is not making you the best person you can be, you have to exit to find your inner-peace. Likewise for my ex-husband. He also transformed to a very different man from the laid-back gent I married seven-years ago. There was so much tension, we had disagreements that blew up to large ominous clouds haunting our marriage.

Now divorced, we can come together for a cocktail  before he relieves the babysitter for his weekend with the kids. We discuss plans for the weekend, joke about dating life as a divorcee, our careers and go our separate ways. He also has read a few articles on my blog and while hesitant, he mutters a few slurs of positive feedback. We both are encountering this divorcee journey, while separately we can both identify with the benefits and obstacles of the single life with children. Many of the key differences that were factors of ending our marriage still exists….but they are our problems we need to figure out together anymore. For that, we are able to come as friends and more importantly establish a great co-parenting relationship for the sake of our sprouts.

I Am Jealous! I Am Human! Love Brings It When You Ain’t Acting Right!

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Over the weekend I had the opportunity to listen to Beyonce’s new fifth album. The entire music and video compilation is excellent. As a grown woman, I am able to identify with all of her songs. When listening and watching the video  “Jealous”….I could not help to recollect on my own experiences with men and the raw emotion of jealousy. Continue reading I Am Jealous! I Am Human! Love Brings It When You Ain’t Acting Right!

The “Adjuster”

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Call me the “Adjuster”. My middle name should be “accomodate”. Heck, many of my girlfriends should change their middle name too. Us as women, that is what we do….”adjust”….when we are in a relationship or marriage. We adjust our lives, interests, schedules to accomodate that gent who is important to us.

I have considered myself one of the coolest girlfriends and wives out there. I will rock out to Dave Matthews, Jimmy Buffett and any garage band, groove with Prince and get my gangsta lean on with Snoop Dog. I love sporting events and can hold my own when the topic of discussion turns to Fantasy Football while sipping a nice cold one.  I can put bait on my fishing rod. I chuckle at my colleagues male watercooler jokes….I get the alpha male humor. Not afraid to mess up my hair because of my motorcycle helmet, a swim in the ocean, a 10K run, a bike ride or cruising with the convertible top down. I get crazy with the kids and relish in the opportunity to re-live my childhood.  I can and don’t mind “adjusting” to whomever my significant other’s interests are. I am open-minded and revel in new experiences…. my motto in life has always been Carpe Diem!

What also exists, are my core interests in life that include….my love for dance, theater, musicals, travel and romantic comedies. I recollect through my love life experiences….there has always been some reluctance from my other half to join me in my zests for life. Many times, in the past….I placed my wants and desires aside….supporting my other half’s interests. Sacrificing my time and adjusting my schedule to make sure that person was getting their “boo time” with me by being involved in their life pursuits. There were times that I would get so caught up….when the relationship ended….I would have to re-discover my independence, my interests and desires without that person in my life. I realized from my long-term post-college relationship….that you can support their hobbies and interests, but also do what makes you happy with or without them. That includes your time spent with your girlfriends.

It is often cited from my wedded and un-wedded male friends….”Tonight I am out with the boys”  or its “Boys night out”. Men look forward to their male-bonding time. There is nothing that can pry them away from their appointment to huddle with the dudes and discuss like-minded interests. Many women have tried to find many distractors…but I will tell you the only thing that will make your man pause is if you are about to go into labor. Otherwise, kids birthday, your birthday, anniversary…that will be celebrated the following day. That is their way of “accomodating”.  Humor aside…..I applaud my men in realizing that male bonding is an important part of their being and sanity to attain their balance. Their spouse or significant other doesn’t always have like-minded interests and sharing these interests with their boys is imperative. That is okay, matter-of-fact it is great. However, over-indulging in your male bonding time where your wife, significant other and family are neglected I do not applaud.

I aim to achieve the same bonding time with my women…however, in my experience it has not always been that easy. I remember through my marriage, it would be my turn to spend with my girls…as my then husband had his time out the night before. So I would reach out to my girlfriends to see if they have time to hang…..and many of them were in relationships (not yet married), “adjusting” to their man….I term it “working on the ring”. So their man was home….they were home. Nothing planned…. but was cherishing their “boo” time. I got it….and let them be. So while my girlfriends were “adjusting” what do I do with my free pass to enjoy myself? I learned to pursue some of my other interests, whether going to a seminar, taking a dance class, going to a play, or expanding my education. Anything that was fulfilling to me. The following day, my girlfriends would often ask what I did… and I would share and hear a 20 minute earful of how she wish she did more and yadayadayada. Matter-of-fact the only time my attached girlfriends would be available was only when they knew their man had something planned too.

To us women…we “adjust” and we should to a certain extent. But don’t loose sight for your zest in life. Maybe you will succeed in getting that “ring” or keeping it on your finger for now….but I believe a sustainable, healthy and happy marriage or relationship is built from two people who both have separately fulfilling lives of their own. When the two come together and “adjust” to each other, there is something new to discuss and appreciate.

Now divorced….. I have much more time on my hands to fulfill my zests in life. I understand that many of my girlfriends are in different stages in life…some have new family additions, some are “working on the ring”, some are just settling in marriage and some are just enjoying single-life like myself. Despite which stage you are in…..make it a priority to alot time to  indulge in your interests and don’t just “adjust” for someone else.  I enjoy my girl time and hobbies, where they are just as much of a priority as my fellow gents time is with the boys and watching the game. So while I still consider myself the “Adjuster” and you can easily insert “accomodate” in my John Hancock…. I am adjusting and accomodating for myself as well as the next potential mate. So girlfriends place me on your calendar so we can embrace our “girl time”!