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When Does a Platonic Friendship with the Opposite Sex Threaten Your Relationship with Your Significant Other?
Last week US Weekly, reported that Will Smith allegedly cheated on Jada Pinkett Smith with his co-star Margot Robbie from their upcoming movie “Focus”. The facts were based on silly pictures that they took together at a photo booth on-set. However, the pictures showed both of them sharing skin and undergarments. Now glancing at the pictures, one could assume that their professional on-set relationship seemed it was becoming a bit too close for comfort.
While we know from media and limited interviews of the couple that Will and Jada have a pretty solid and trusting relationship. They both have demanding careers, their children also work extensively, so there are periods where the two are separated for a considerable amount of time. The married couple has had their series of cheating allegations with former co-stars , rumors of an open marriage and numerous speculations that the two are on the brinks of divorce. Through it all, they both have stuck together and have remained classy in their approach of either ignoring or addressing the media’s curiosity.
However, upon looking at those pictures with Will and Margot Robbie, I had to ask myself, would I be comfortable if my husband or “Boo” took pictures with a platonic friend intentionally sharing a considerable amount of skin? While initially, goose bumps started to rise on my skin and I began to shake my head no, while thinking “Hell No!”. I also had to think perspectively on my experiences and look at their situation separately. I guess it would depend, right? If it was me, these questions would run through my mind. Have I been introduced to this lady friend of his? And if so, have we developed a somewhat platonic relationship amongst ourselves? Also how long has this platonic friend been part of my significant other’s life? Also, how well do I know my man, and how solid is our relationship? Now I know in show business, when working on a movie, you spend endless hours together over a short time span. So through that time period, close friendships are developed. I get it. While I may not have a Hollywood lifestyle, I could say this is similar in corporate America. Many times you have projects, strict deadlines and are required to work long hours with co-workers. Shared take-out dinners and long hours past 8 o’clock, co-workers become silly. We goof off. We sometimes end the night off at a local bar and maybe there is someone bold and daring enough to participate in karaoke. Silly occurrences happen, friendships develop and bonds are created.
If your significant other has an open communication and shares his life experiences with you including his bouts with his female platonic friends and your relationship is solidly grounded, any pictures on social media or other outlet should not affect you. In this situation, you are likely to know the occurrence or at least backdrop setting of when the alleged cheat rumors took place.
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Thinking in my relationship experience, my significant others always had a few close platonic friendships. Some friendships were developed before I became involved with the person and others were developed afterwards through work or some other means. I am not going to say I always initially felt comfortable with these platonic friendships. But after open discussions on who this person was in his life and the type of mutual interest and care the two had for each other, I felt comforted. I remember, my ex-husband returning from a company retreat and there were pictures of him with other co-workers, that included females enjoying themselves at an after work function. Yes I had skepticism, but I could relate myself. As I have gone on plenty of company retreats in some of the most adulterated cities in America. My co-workers and I would indulge ourselves at many of the great restaurants and entertainment available, but our bond was kept on a platonic level. After open communication of his experiences with colleagues, I understood. In my opinion, open communication strengthens trust in a relationship.
Are you accepting of your significant other’s platonic friendships? If so, would you set boundaries around your significant other’s platonic friendships with the opposite sex? Would you question his or her sincerity towards you, if questionable but friendly photos were shared on social media at a function you were aware that he or she was attending? Would it matter if you knew that person before the photos were taken?