Tag Archives: Sydney J. Harris

To Quarrel or Not to Quarrel

Many married couples separate because they quarrel incessantly, but just as many separate because they were never honest enough or courageous enough to quarrel when they should have. 

–Sydney J. Harris

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Some people avoid arguing with their mate like it is the plague. They separate rather then understanding each others wants and desires and reconciling their differences through healthy debate. Two parties remain unhappy, leading to break-ups. On the other hand ceaseless debates especially over the same issues is unhealthy. There is no sense of arguing and debating the same points if a resolution or understanding is not made at the end. At the end, if the two care enough about each other, both parties will seek to remedy the issue at hand. Or if each person has conviction to their point and do not want to reconcile, they must agree to disagree and either deal, accept and adjust to the difference of opinions or just agree to separate. Not harp on the same issue over and over again.

Quarreling is healthy to a relationship, allows two people to vent their differences. This is if done in a positive, non-verbally abusive manner with the point to resolve the issue in the end.

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Many couples choose to resolve any differences prior to going to bed, remove any lingering effects leading to extended miscommunication, disagreement and misunderstanding.

I believe their is always disagreement in how two people live and approach life. When you are in a committed relationship, discuss differences at the infancy stage prior to the build-up of frustration. In my opinion, the quarrels will be fewer and less vibrant. Quarrelling fosters a healthy relationship supporting open communication. Make sure the topic has a means to an end.

What are your thoughts and experiences? Do you see quarreling as healthy?

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