Open Marriages- A Part Solution To The High Divorce Rate?

It seems the latest buzz words when it comes to celebrity and reality relationships are “infidelity” and “open relationships”. The divorce rate is at an all-time high. Attaining a man and woman who can fulfill all of your emotional and physical needs seems quite daunting in this day and age.

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Media sensationalizes the concept of “Side Piece”, “Side Chick or Dude”. It seems that it is now a “must have”.

Many marriages end as a result of infidelity. The discovery, hurt, shame, betrayal, embarrassment and disappointment tear apart an otherwise happy marriage. Or is the union really happy?  Families are torn and parents try to control and rectify the psychological damage to themselves and their children.

On the contrary, many men and women accept their “title” roles as the main “Wifey” or “Hubby” yet know their mate has someone else on the side…or when away is accompanied by companions.

It is also assumed that there must be something broken to cause someone to stray from their partner.  Especially when a woman is the one going astray. This is where  gender roles become a huge factor. The woman must feel ignored or under-appreciated. In the man’s case the woman is not taken care of business physically at home, or it is just in his “nature”.  These stereotypes of why someone strays by gender become a huge deal in the other person’s feelings towards their mate cheating.

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Sometimes it is not that complicated at all. The man and/or woman may be 100% dedicated to their family and spouses, their love for each other is not tainted. However, maybe physically the person may yearn for more…and their spouse may not be able to provide or their sexual curiosity is piqued beyond the satisfaction received from the couple’s bedroom. The person could just be an explorer in life that includes indulging in persons of interest of the opposite sex.

Should we say just because they are a “life explorer”, they should not experience matrimony, share a life with someone and raise a family? If they choose to, yet explore their indulges respectfully, should they be ostracized from society?

There are many tales of how male ancestors had many wives and were still highly revered and respected. Yet, there is barely any tales of women who had many men acquaintances, without being stoned, beheaded or exiled from their community.

We are in a world where there is more acceptance, open-mindedness and equality by gender. There is a trillion dollar sex industry that is funded by men and women (many that are married) to fancy their fantasies in secret. Why? Because society promotes a monogamy lifestyle as opposed to polygamy.

I am not being an advocate of open unions, but an intellectual thinker.  An observer of how media is popularizing and standardizing the “Side Chick or Dude”, pervasiveness of “Swingers” and the infamous Ashley Madison cheating dating site.

But don’t all healthy unions support expressing your desires versus suppressing them?

Could an open discussion and understanding of your mate’s desires save your marriage? Prior to committing infidelity, could there be an open dialogue about each other’s intimate needs and wants?   Is honesty about your intentions/ desires before hand, better than going behind your mate’s back and committing adultery?

Now of course not everyone’s mate will be understanding, but what if yours was? And maybe…..an agreement of having a respectful open marriage, may save the agony of dealing with infidelity and could prevent a divorce?

The biggest hump in dealing with infidelity in any relationship union is “Trust”.

The main issues around infidelity is the act of betrayal than the engaging act in itself? This is in regards to the specific cases where your mate is not emotionally vested with the other person and is not at risk of  his or her heart taken from you.

On the contrary, you can ask isn’t intimacy a pathway to your mate’s heart? Absolutely! But it is more predicated on the mate feeling there is “lack of understanding and/or communication” within their union than the act itself.

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Thus, maybe an open dialogue of each other’s sexual curiosities and desires, agreement or no agreement to open marriages, could also deter infidelity. As said best, open communication and understanding fosters trust in a relationship.

Now there are those marriage unions where the husband and wife know how to control their roving eye and utilize appropriate channels to supress their desires even when communication barriers become too heavy to lift. The desire to be with anyone else but their partner does not exist. Well this post excludes those. But speaks to the many unions that are riddled with the cause and effect of cheating in their relationships.

 

What are your thoughts? Do You Think An Open Marriage Can Save Your Relationship?

 

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