Category Archives: Marital Issues & Resolutions

Ready For Wife Life: 5 Things Your Future Husband Wished You Knew

This is a very great read and accurate from Black And Married With Kids.com. Sometimes us as women forget these are the most important characteristics you can offer the love of your life. Failed marriages, usually lack one or more of these qualities. As a previously married woman, it is tough to adhere to these qualities when in the midst of a storm. Enjoy.

 

When a man is ready for marriage, there are specific things he looks for in a woman before he decides to commit. Typically, he keeps the criteria for his ideal woman close to he vest. Continue reading Ready For Wife Life: 5 Things Your Future Husband Wished You Knew

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10 Harsh Truths Your Husband’s Prostitute Wants You To Know

This was an insightful and thought provoking article that I thought I would share. Originally on YourTango.com. Don’t Attack The Intermediary Messenger!  I welcome all of your comments and thoughts.
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As written by a prostitute.

I’ve had plenty of experience being the the other woman. As a promiscuous college student, I recall seducing a college baseball player with a long-distance girlfriend. Well, I eventually got sick of “giving it up for free” and figured I may as well get paid to play. After many years as a stripper, a dash of desperation, and gradually becoming more open-minded, I posted my first ad on a website for upscale escorts catering to sugar daddies. That’s right, I prostitute for a living. Here’s what I’ve learned in the process about your husbands:

1. Monogamy is against most men’s biological nature. But nest-building and settling down with one primary woman to raise a family is not. He’s chosen you, not me. He might see me as more fun, vivacious or sexual, but he sees you as the best candidate for wife, mother and life companion. He takes you seriously; not me.

2. Your partnership, in his eyes, has turned into more of an asexual friendship without the “benefits.” He still wants the benefits (as in the sex) but would rather seek out a willing mistress than rock the boat with you by expressing his frustration at your loss of interest in sex—or at least sex like it used to be.

3. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. Social conditioning has enabled his feelings of male “have it all” entitlement. He still loves the hell out of you but male privilege dictates he can play around, get away with it and not be held accountable.

4I require less maintenance both emotionally and financially. I’m not a long-term investment. Whether I’m seeing him for money or seeing him just for fun, I’m his sidechick who is (sometimes painfully) at his beck and call for fantasy fulfillment as well as emotional support. Whereas you’re a full-time career with great benefits and insurance, I’m an hourly temp job.

5. He feels more comfortable telling me things he doesn’t have the confidence to admit to you. I’m basically a young, good-looking version of a therapist but unlike professionally-trained therapists, he gets to f*ck me. (That’s why in the case of escorting, my $500 per hour rate exceeds many of the nation’s best PhD holding psychiatrists and psychologists).

6. He can ask me to perform certain sexual acts that he doesn’t feel comfortable asking you to do. I don’t do anal sex, but I love giving oral, slightly rough sex, threesomes, a little role-play, and light BDSM.

7. He might be indulging an addiction, replacing an addiction or channeling his craving for other vices toward a different form of self-destructive behavior. If he has a history of gambling, alcoholism or drug addiction, it’s common for him to channel this pleasure-seeking energy toward me. He’s listening to his Id, not his super-ego, because he has a history of weakness toward seeking pleasure in excess.

8. He gets off on the risk. He might not even be seeing me for me at all because it’s about indulging in a thrill-seeking risk. Some guys try harder not to get caught but most men I’ve encountered love flirting with disaster a little bit, especially if he’s paying me hush-money. That way, his cocky ass feels extra confident I won’t go Fatal Attraction on him. He knows (and I know) painfully well that if you catch him in our affair, your female instinct will be to blame me for seducing him. But here’s a truthbomb: I’m not standing on a street corner, sipping a martini at the Four Seasons hoping to seduce him; he sought me out. But hey, go ahead and blame me if it helps you sleep at night, dear.

9. He’s got a Madonna-whore complex and puts you in the Madonna category. He doesn’t think of the mother of his kids in the same sexual way he may have during the hot and heavy early days. He’d rather have hot hotel sex with someone who asks little of him than boring, quiet missionary sex that’s subdued and quiet so to not wake up the kid. Also, I’m probably younger and better-rested than you are, with more energy to bring to our sexual encounters than just letting him hurry up and have sex with me until he comes to get it over with.

10. He’s got a savior complex. He feels good supporting me financially—to whatever extent he does—while also enjoying the ‘No Strings Attached’ sex arrangement. It’s mutually beneficial. He knows I’m jealous of the “main bitch” role but willing to settle for his sidechick beacuse I’m used to it. However, he exploits that desire and manipulates me emotionally. This is why so many men make false promises to leave their wives and take their mistresses on extravagant vacations.

At the end of the day, though, if your little boy gets a sniffle, he’ll ditch a romantic weekend getaway with me in a red hot second. And if you call to tell him he has to be home to let the plumber in between 2-5, he’ll cancel our 3 pm, $500/1 hour fling cause he doesn’t give a sh*t about me and he’s scared of your wrath. Basically, you have him whipped and I’m just a fun hobby he’s able to sacrifice when serious stuff comes up. (Yet, he easily forgets that as his mistress/escort, I may be relying on that appointment money to feed MY child as a singlemother or pay my tuition.)

Can’t Waste My Breath!

I can’t waste my breath on recurring themes in my life hoping for a different outcome.

My words fall on death ears…..first it is polite favors, turns to negotiations, then a debate to a full blown disagreement…. Anger and frustration rises.

Certain ways of people will never change. I can scream through the roof….but it is transparent.

That favor of being more accommodating, taking initiative, understanding my needs, my children…… you will never fully comprehend.

The transparency is apparent from the last time my request ended with the same outcome.

Yet you wonder why I was in search for a way out. Why I could not deal with your lack of regard of “ME” or “US” or “THEM”.

Vain, selfish ways do not deserve unconditional love. And as you see it dissipated….you stand alone.

I stand alone, with a weight off my shoulder. There are challenges and unknowns….but a gain of a full appreciation of ME!

I can’t waste my breath any longer!

Continue reading Can’t Waste My Breath!

My Advice To Married Couples After Divorcing My Wife Of 16 Years By Gerald Rogers.

Thought this was a great article. Humility is golden. Not too many of us are able to admit on our own wrong doing in the demise of a relationship. Realizing what you did right and wrong is the first step in becoming a better person in the next situation or if it is not too late to make it right and rebuild in your past relationships.

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My Advice To Married Couples After Divorcing My Wife   Of 16 Years By Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there…

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I Am In A Sexless Marriage, This Is What I Am Begging Young Men To Consider Before They Get Married

This is for the married men who do feel a prisoner in their marriage or the divorcee who has found passion back in their life but at the expense of their own net worth and their relationships with the kids. I discuss many issues of women…but what about the men? While this guy seems he put all the stops with babysitters, wining and dining and romantic gestures. There are many men who are just as frustrated and forget that they have to continue and date their women years after marriage. Maybe your wife would be more intimate with you! Enjoy!

Thought Catalog

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When you’re old, you look back on your younger years and it seems like you were sleepwalking. I like to think I’m a smart guy who cares about life and makes good decisions, but then how did I end up here, 38, married 10 years, have had sex maybe once a year for the past 6 years (and it should be noted she didn’t seem to enjoy even that).

This isn’t a life I wanted and yet here I am, stuck in it.

My problem is that my wife won’t have sex with me. My problem is that my wife won’t talk to me about not wanting to have sex with me. My problem is that my wife doesn’t care about being my wife anymore. My problem is that she seems completely disinterested in everything except maybe our kids (which, thank god).

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Maybe women are programed to…

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Four Ways To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

Thought this article was interesting on today.com. Please read would be interesting to hear your insights. Link to article is: http://m.today.com/style/four-ways-divorce-proof-your-marriage-1D80225188 Continue reading Four Ways To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

I’m Sorry, But You’re Just Not The Man I Hoped You Would Become When We Got Married

I wanted to share this article from The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/im-sorry-but-youre-just-not-the-man-i-hoped-you-wo,37061/

This article resonated with me as this is a persistent issue in unhappy marriages. The idealism of what you envision of your prospective husband and prospective wife, and how your spouse does not meet your expectations. This is a note from a wife who has lost hope and realize that her husband will never own up to the man she had hoped. Enjoy! Continue reading I’m Sorry, But You’re Just Not The Man I Hoped You Would Become When We Got Married

Michael Douglas Speaks On Marriage- Like An Orchid It Must Be Nurtured! I Couldn’t Agree With Him More!

In this week’s issue of People Magazine, Michael Douglas speaks about marriage during his interview promoting his new romantic comedy co-starring Diane Keaton “And So It Goes”. This follows a year of him and his spouse Catherine Zeta-Jones restoring their marriage following a brief break from each other. In his marriage, there are hints of him taking his wife for granted.

“Like a lovely orchid, or anything else that’s nurtured, marriage prospers and grows, but if it’s ignored, it withers.”

“A lot of it has to do with age. When you’ve accomplished a certain amount in your career, you’re not so focused on your ambitions. It makes you appreciate – and hopefully you do that sooner rather than later – the value of your partner.”

Continue reading Michael Douglas Speaks On Marriage- Like An Orchid It Must Be Nurtured! I Couldn’t Agree With Him More!

Open Marriages- A Part Solution To The High Divorce Rate?

It seems the latest buzz words when it comes to celebrity and reality relationships are “infidelity” and “open relationships”. The divorce rate is at an all-time high. Attaining a man and woman who can fulfill Continue reading Open Marriages- A Part Solution To The High Divorce Rate?

Is Ashley Madison (Infidelity Dating Site) Interfering With Your Marriage?

Ashley Madison or ashleymadison.com, is the number one dating site where married people can explore and meet other similarly attached individuals who are willing to explore a possible affair. The site’s tag line:

“Life Is Short. Have An Affair”

Continue reading Is Ashley Madison (Infidelity Dating Site) Interfering With Your Marriage?