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I happen to read this article on the Huffington Post and watched the video clip which will be shown on Oprah Winfrey‘s television network OWN. The article discusses the man-to-man conversation between Babyface and Deion Sanders prior to meeting Babyface’s children. I thought this scenario depicted a positive, mature example of two men, the divorced father, Babyface and the love interest Deion Sanders of the divorced mother Tracey Edmonds getting together to discuss Deion’s interest in Tracey and to seek acceptance prior to being introduced to their children. I admired how the article depicted Babyface’s genuine love and wanting the best interest for Tracey, despite differences that resulted in the dissolution of their marriage. It also showcased Deion as being considerate of Babyface by seeking approval prior to meeting Tracey’s children.
Now, as a Divorcee dating, I separate my dating life from my children. However, I have often wondered when is the best time to introduce your children to your dating partner. According to Steve Harvey’s book “Think Like A Man, Act Like A Woman,” Steve suggests to not wait too long. He states how you do not want to invest so much of your emotions and time with someone then six months later, realize that your love interest does not like your children or the extended family is a bit of a handful to his liking. His reasoning, is that you just wasted six months with someone who is not compatible with your family. A casual meeting at a public place such as a local play area like Chuck E. Cheese have been suggested from a variety of sources when initially introducing your children to your new beau. The person is just happenstance there, and the children are not aware that the gent is someone you are actively dating, as it could be just a co-worker. Thus, allowing the initial engagement with the children to be light. However, you don’t want a revolving door of men meeting your children. That is not healthy.
Deion’s approach in asking acceptance from the father prior to meeting the kids is something new to be considered. Why not wait until you are vested in the relationship for a while. An initial meeting with the love interest eases the co-parenting relationship you have with your ex. Maybe this approach will alleviate any potential tension between the two men in the future. If I become serious with someone new, I hope that my ex-husband would be as mature as Babyface when meeting the new significant person in my life. I also would like the woman in my ex’s life to be just as considerate to me, the mother. While I always imagined if I did become serious in dating someone, that a mature dialogue would eventually occur, I never thought of the idea that it could happen prior to meeting the children.
The scenario provides an example that two people can be divorced yet be amicable towards each other. There are no hidden agendas, but genuine care for each other’s well-being and happiness. Bitterness, animosity, and jealousy are non-existent. I applaud and admire Babyface and Deion for their mature approach. Given that Deion has a family of his own, he could emphasize with Babyface, as I am sure he is protective of his own children and would not want just anyone being brought into their lives.
What are your thoughts? If divorced, would you attempt to foster an amicable relationship with your ex? Would you want someone introducing themselves to you first, prior to meeting your offspring?