Please read my contributing article as published on Joint Interest: Upload 2 The New Connected World Digital Magazine. Also sign up for weekly updates and look out for future contributing articles as well. This is the condensed version than the original published yesterday!
Can a Meaningful Relationship Thrive from a One-Night Stand?
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You and your girlfriends are at a club. You separate yourself from your crew and begin to strut all your goodness to the bar. A gent approaches you and ask your vitals and whereabout in New York City Metro area you reside. Both of you are physically attracted to each other. He offers to buy you that Ciroc Amaretto on the rocks you were about to splurge on yourself. You graciously accept. The DJ begins to turn up the music. That handsome gent that has his eyes fixated on you takes your hand and walks you by the DJ. Your hips begin to swerve in your tight mini-dress as he checks you out with your hand-held in his. He maintains an arm’s-length distance. However, eyes are pierced on how your hips move well to the tunes.
You become more comfortable, your buttox and hips now begin to caress his pants as they percolate to the beat. Not standing out as other couples are also twerking. His hands become comfortable in caressing your silhouette. His soothing hands palming your rear gives you the chills. You are intertwined in a grind fest on the dance floor.
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He mentions how he drove to the venue and offers to take you home. The dancing resumes its hot and heavy pace. You are re-thinking that offer. You acknowledge that there is definitely great sexual chemistry. You don’t want the moment to cease. You agree for him to take you home. In the car, he can’t keep his hands off of you. Kisses are exchanged. You agree to go to his place. He assures you that he digs your entire vibe. Upon arriving at his place, you seal the deal.
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The next morning, you share breakfast before he drops you off at home.
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Prior to leaving, you ask if you both will remain in contact. He says Yes. You begin the walk of shame as he drops you off to your place.
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You begin to fret and wonder if you blew it because you gave up the goods too quickly. You hope the guy realizes that is not normal. You were into him and couldn’t resist. Could something meaningful come from this?
It is all about perception. If the guy is a true gentleman and perceived you as a classy woman….he probably still does. He does not romp around with anyone himself. He likely felt the same chemistry as you. Plus if the loving was great, the man will likely return. As a woman, you know your own judgment of character. There was something that made him the exception to the rule. Thus a budding relationship from your one night freak-fest is possible.
However, what really did you learn of each other beyond sex, that make the two of you compatible as a couple? If you are in the market in looking for a husband, you or him could not possibly know that your romping partner possesses all of the qualities that you aspire in your future mate. So while subsequent dates may happen, the relationship maybe short-lived. Exclusivity status not guaranteed. He may be dating another chick. Or you may just get caught up in the sex and realize that this guy is not husband material.
Jury Still Out!
Waiting three dates or abiding to the Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule may result in the same outcome. In dating, nothing is guaranteed. Two people are getting to know each other. There is a risk that a relationship may not thrive from any first encounter. Think of the numbers you exchange when out. How many result in follow-up calls, dates and relationships? While sexual intimacy may definitely get you the subsequent date it may not lead to exclusivity. So preserve your goodies until you know the guy is looking for something serious. In contrast, there are many lasting relationships that thrived from a one-night stand. It is all about the person’s present focus in life. If you could learn that over a few cocktails and dances, then press on.
What are your thoughts? Have you been able to have a sustainable relationship after a one-night romp?